The Ocean

Listen to this song. And read it's lyrics. It's really sad.
It's meant for you.
And you know who you are.

by The Bravery

I climbed up a mountain, and looked off the edge
And all of the lives that I never have led
Is one where I stayed with you, across the sea
I wonder do you still think of me
I carry your image always in my head
Folded and yellowed and torn at the edge
And I've look upon it for so many years
Slowly I'm loosing your face

[chorus:]
Oh the ocean rows us away, away, away
The ocean rows us away

Sixes and sevens we live on jet planes
And so many faces I don't know the names
So many friends now and none of them mine
Forgotten as soon as we meet
All of these moments are lost in time
Your caught on my head like a thorn on a vine
To forever torment me that I wonder why
Do I wish I've never known you at all

[chorus x2]
Oh the ocean rows us away, away, away
The ocean rows us away

The sun and the moon
An ocean of air
So many voices
But nothing is there
The ghost of you asking me why
Why did I leave

[chorus]
Oh the ocean rows us away, away, away
The ocean rows us away

Oh the ocean rows us away away away
And I loose your hand through the waves

It's sad that people judge others by the colour of their skin, their backgrounds, the way they look. It's even more depressing when you find out that they make excuses for their bigotry because they know they're wrong. But it's agony when you're related to them and it's quite a bitter thing to call them family.


I'm gonna pray for you.

For us too but mainly for you.

So that one fine day, you stand up despite it hurting and you boldly hold your head up and walk out that door. You deserve much more than this.

I only hope you know that too.

Life's a bitch

Yes, shouldn't that be enough to tell ya that I'm depressed AGAIN?
Heh.

I leave to India on the 21st, at 8.05pm with a HUGE group of 21 people.
I have no means of contacting my boyfriend even if I wanted to. Well, no way of him replying anyway. Can't text, can't call. And his internet's been cut off. I have no idea when will be the next I hear from him. Yes, it looks bleak.

Ah life. It's fucked up.

Pickle anyone?

I wasn't poking fun...

...

Ok, weird moment over =D



So yeah, here it goes...


I got the offer to IMU. Pretty weird considering that my grades aren't all too hot this time around. And it was just that and my interview. And my certs were damaged *headdesk*. In a way, I'm feeling kinda accomplished, seeing that with all that, plus semester results and stuff and probably how I fared in the interview - I had to put on this good doctor persona, haha - and yeah, it's like "Yay! A medical uni took me in! Now what??"


The thing about IMU is that, the prospect of starting first year med in February instead of next September is very tantalising. Also, it's FREAKIN near to home, like a five-minute drive. I get to be with Prav and Sir Doink, good close friends I'm already very close to and familiar with. I get to do my last bit abroad...No coming back to Malaysia. I get to live abroad sooner than planned. And that's REALLY tempting me. Coming back here would ensnare me with the internship I have to do here. It's more of the long-term thing than anything. Education wise, I get to study in Australia or New Zealand. If I'm not happy with those, I get to pick Scotland or England or maybe even US - tho the last one would have the folks all upset with the idea of me being so far away tho the course is shorter there as well. Ireland's in there as well, but not Dublin, Galway I think.


So long-term wise, IMU is a much better plan...Career-wise.
And life-wise as well.


But gosh..PMC has everything I like otherwise. I've always wanted to be in Ireland ever since I went there. For reasons non-educational tho. The culture, the life, the literature, the universities, the people...The classmates here are amazing. I've gotten settled in already. I love the lecturers, the university, the prospect of Ireland next year. Everything's amazing, living away from home, the friends, the food, everything really.


Speaking of which...


I'm really missing a few people. Yes, yes, I'm gonna get mushy again. Here's special mention to these dolts, haha!

Yes you dolts. I miss you people. A lot.

:(

Come back!!!! *cries* Your weirdness, er, completes me? *gags*

This is just me running out of catchy phrases and quirky wisecracks. Also, I'm extremely hyper today.


Hi. I'm Ash.

=P

Littlest things

I LOVE this song.

by Lily Allen

Sometimes I find myself sittin' back and reminiscing
Especially when I have to watch other people kissin'
And I remember when you started callin' me your miss's
All the play fightin', all the flirtatious disses
I'd tell you sad stories about my childhood
I don't know why I trusted you but I knew that I could
We'd spend the whole weekend lying in our own dirt
I was just so happy in your boxers and your t-shirt

Chorus
Dreams, Dreams
Of when we had just started things
Dreams of you and me
It seems, It seems
That I can't shake those memories
I wonder if you have the same dreams too.

The littlest things that take me there
I know it sounds lame but its so true
I know its not right, but it seems unfair
the things are reminding me of you
Sometimes I wish we could just pretend
Even if for only one weekend
So come on, Tell me
Is this the end?

Drinkin' tea in bed
Watching DVD's
When I discovered all your dirty grotty magazines
You take me out shopping and all we'd buy is trainers
As if we ever needed anything to entertain us
the first time that you introduced me to your friends
and you could tell that I was nervous, so you held my hand
when I was feeling down, you made that face you do
no one in the world who could replace you

Chorus
Dreams, Dreams
Of when we had just started things
Dreams of me and you
It seems, It seems
That I can't shake those memories
I wonder if you feel the same way too

The littlest things that take me there
I know it sounds lame but its so true
I know its not right, but it seems unfair
the things are reminding me of you
Sometimes I wish we could just pretend
Even if for only one weekend
So come on, Tell me
Is this the end?

Sun Comes Up

I watched THIS yesterday

And despite me cowering behind my fingers - it was SCARY alright?! - I loved it.
Then again, I love anything with Will Smith in it *swoons*
But this was seriously good. And the movie finished late so as we were driving back, the streets seemed pretty desolate and I was thinking "If only a zombie came out now..."


But seriously, imagine if the entire world died out. And IT'S WILL SMITH!!!


He beats McDreamy. By leaps and bounds *swoons again*


And I just liked the idea. It was extremely scary, especially that bit where he goes into this empty warehouse-like place and looks for his dog, Sam. And then he sees the mutants all huddled up and that scene where Sam's hiding under the desk staring at something behind him and it leaps out and gets him...


Haha, even Mo jerked at that. *grins*


But yeah, and the fact that he had to stay locked in the entire time at night, shut his windows and all. And then how they traced him back to his house - gods, that was scary. It was so cool all this while how he was living in secret. And then how he takes out the entire zombie lot by blasting a grenade...Oh man...I nearly wanted to cry. WILL SMITH DIES!!!


*headdesk* Yes yes, I'm a hardcore fan.



And then I thought about that werewolf dream I had ages ago and it seemed so similar. But these zombies were zombies with vampire-like qualities, ie, no UV light. The movie was VERY well taken, the way his past catches up with him in glimpses. You have to put it together as the movie goes on. Loved it tho Mo was disappointed with the way it ended.


It's based on a BOOK for crying out loud!!!


*happy sigh*


So contented is me. And it's not cause Will Smith did this one scene pulling himself up doin' chin ups without a shirt *smug*


*hides from Chris*

That's Life

by Michael Buble


That's life
That's what all the people say
You're riding high in April
You're shot down in May
I know I'm gonna change that tune
When I'm back on top in June

I say that's life
& as funny as it may seem
Some people get their kicks
Stompin' on your dreams
But I don't let it, let it get me down
'Cause this fine ol' world keeps spinning 'round

I've been a puppet, a pauper, a pirate,
A poet, a pawn & a king
I've been up & down & over & out
But I know one thing
Each time I find myself, flat on this face
I pick myself up & get back in the race

That's life
I can't deny it
I thought of quitting, baby
This heart wasn't gonna buy it
And if I didn't think it was worth one single try
I'd jump right on a big bird & then I'd fly

I've been a puppet, a pauper, a pirate,
A poet, a pawn & a king
I've been up & down & over & out
And I know one thing
Each time I find myself flat on my face
I pick myself up & get back in the race

That's life
That's life & I can't deny it
Many times I thought of cutting out
But my heart won't buy it
But if there's nothing shakin' come this here July
I'm gonna roll
I'm gonna roll
I'm gonna roll myself up in a big ball & die
Can't deny it
That's life

From far and wide

Interesting bit of info I came across while clicking on that world map thingy I have at the bottom of this page - yes, if one actually bothers to scroll down, one will discover such an amazing map at the bottom of this page, oh yes. Of where my readers come from, oh yes indeed.


And this is what I got:

Location	Time
Manila, Philippines	Fri, 14 Dec 2007 03:46:19 -0600
Motta Visconti, Italy	Fri, 14 Dec 2007 03:01:55 -0600
Jakarta, Indonesia	Fri, 14 Dec 2007 01:12:16 -0600
Jakarta, Indonesia	Fri, 14 Dec 2007 00:46:15 -0600
Kepun Kopi, Malaysia	Thu, 13 Dec 2007 23:42:13 -0600
Kampong Sira Badak, Malaysia	Thu, 13 Dec 2007 22:13:21 -0600
Val D'Or, Malaysia	Thu, 13 Dec 2007 19:41:01 -0600
Perai, Malaysia	Thu, 13 Dec 2007 18:20:24 -0600
Brooklyn, NY, United States	Thu, 13 Dec 2007 16:31:07 -0600
Kiel, Germany	Thu, 13 Dec 2007 15:56:35 -0600
Madrid, Spain	Thu, 13 Dec 2007 14:45:55 -0600
El Peumo, Chile	Thu, 13 Dec 2007 13:38:18 -0600
, Gibraltar	Thu, 13 Dec 2007 12:38:20 -0600
Timisoara, Romania	Thu, 13 Dec 2007 12:25:18 -0600
Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia	Thu, 13 Dec 2007 08:43:40 -0600
Marks, MS, United States	Thu, 13 Dec 2007 08:17:45 -0600
Petaling Jaya, Malaysia	Thu, 13 Dec 2007 08:09:06 -0600
Salak South New Village, Malaysia	Thu, 13 Dec 2007 07:27:15 -0600
Melbourne, Australia	Thu, 13 Dec 2007 06:54:19 -0600
, Singapore	Thu, 13 Dec 2007 05:57:35 -0600

I can account for a FEW places. The ones highlighted in blue.


As for the REST??


Good gods, I don't know anyone in GERMANY. Or Romania. Or some odd place called Val D'or which supposedly exists in Malaysia and which I have never heard of.


So people. Oh strange ones from far and wide, if you read, why not make yourselves known? I know I have faithful ones from Italy and Indon. But the rest? By gods, what the hell brings you here??!


Feel free to read on though. At ye own risks.

Jeff Dunham

Oh man, I'm so addicted to this guy and his puppets. He's good and well, probably the ventriloquist-version of Russell Peters minus the Asian exposure I suppose. Been watching each video, back to back. Extremely talented too. He's got a few puppets too, Achmed, Walter, Jose, Peanut and Melvin. Watch this people!









Hilarious...

By gods

What the hell is this fucking country coming to?


More details here > HINDRAF

Good gods...

I have doubts, fears. I think I'm officially panicking.

I refused to look at slides today. I just did one lecture and half of the second one before I gave up completely.
Talked to Wonderboy. Watched a few funny movies, some Jeff Dunham shows, the Office. My body still aches.

I don't wanna go home.
I DON'T wanna do work.
I'm having doubts about a few things.
I'm feeling so nauseas.


I don't think I can handle another big change in my life. I just wanna be left at peace. And somehow get my shit together to study enough for finals. There's muscles, spin states, cytochromes and some crap in physics to plough through as well. More worried about Bio's worm and fungi life cycles...


And then that stupid assignment.


And I'm craving for a long period of lethargy *cries*

La Tortura

Ok, so I spent most of the day setting my layout back to a simpler design. Yes, I spent lotsa time with the last one but this one uses blogger's widget templates. It's MUCH easier to manipulate, my pictures don't come out funny and yeah, it's dark. Like my skin and most of my moods these days. Don't ask. Plus the playlist and world map are back up again. Whee.


My body feels like a ton of bricks have fallen on it and each time I scream ouch, another heavier, bigger, sharper one falls on that exact spot that caused the 'ouch'.


Last week, I missed three days of class due to family idiocrasy.
This week, I missed two due to body idiocrasy.
And there's lab tomorrow. Apparently, classes from 9.30-12 and lab from 2-5.
A full day.


Then there's all that shit about the GI tract to read.


And that trip I'm really dreading. I don't wanna spend 10 fucking days with family. I DON'T wanna hear them go on about my weight, my grades, my failures and everything of what I lack, or do, or believe. I do NOT wanna spend time with Uncle Evil and his fellow cronies. Nor do I wanna see people who monitor what I eat, for god's sake.


These are people who have no respect for your privacy, your integrity or your beliefs. They're hypocrites, backstabbers and people I can never trust yet grew up with.


It's funny, that when I reflect back, a friend once asked me how I turned out to be so different. The only thing that I can somehow think that would come remotely close to that would be that I always never did believe or trust anyone except myself. The closest I've ever gotten to trusting anyone is the person I'm with - so appreciate that you! *pokes Emperor Insanity in the chest* - and apart from that, I NEVER trust anyone. I make exceptions with people I've grown up with - nods at Jakun - and some that trust me with their most deepest and darkest secrets - nods at Sir Doink - and bitter, cynical, depressed ones - nods at Wonderboy -


I'm pretty much guarded with the rest.

I've been listening to depressing piano solos throughout the day by Philip Glass. He's pretty good. Enjoy.

Are you alive?

The horoscope guy was right about one thing.
This really isn't all THAT good a year.

One minor not good thing for example : I've gotten sick THRICE in a time span of...3 and a half months.

I have the shittiest immune system, I swear.

Call me irresponsible

Yes. I should be studying. I've wasted the whole day not doing such. Don't ask me why, I just don't have the mood for it.

So I toggled with the blog layout again on the test blog. And I've decided I'm gonna switch to something simpler in a bit. I know, I've been changing layouts quite a bit. Decided to go back to being simple with less of a headache. Major headache today, lower torso feels like it's about to dettach itself from my body - imagine labour, gods.

Anyway

Here's the link to it -> New template



And NOW I shall attempt studying.

Heh.

Gettin' jiggy with it

Just a quick note to say that I'm gonna be VERY busy till I get back from the India trip. The blog is already being updated pretty irregularly - for a blogger who used to blog about 2-3 times in a day about EVERYTHING in her life - and there have been SO many things I've been dying to blog about but just haven't had the time to sit down and do.

As it stands, I have :

1. One assignment on a case report on diabetes melitus
2. 4 biochem tutorials left to finish
3. An email to write to the Irish ambassador to ask for money for PMC's medical conference in May
4. An ICH presentation due on...the 14th of January but there's no time to do it next week since I leave for KL AGAIN on the 20th.
   
5. Lecture slides to read - cisplatin, cytochromes, muscles, helminths, MORE worm life cycles as well as fungi

Ye gods...


Wish me luck.


*slices off throat*

Just when I'd given up dreaming

On December 3rd, 2007 - I didn't note the time, unfortunately - I received my first parcel ever.

=)


And in it were delightful treasures that I'll keep for life, close to my heart.

1. A poem on laminated card
2. A CD of his favourite Christmas songs
3. A DVD of a movie I never got to watch - Hairspray!!!
4. A journal of my own
   
5. A cute handwritten letter - with such kiddy writing too *grins*

These lil tokens I received just made my day.

Thanks honey =)
*hugs Chris*

Bee-yotch

That's what the internet is like back home.
And why am I back home, you ask?

1. To attend an interview for a university I don't have any intentions of getting into
2. To make a passport for a trip I never wanted to go for.

But wait, why else does Ash display immense signs of irritation?

1. She needs a new laptop
2. She has altogether missed 3 bio lectures, 2 chem lectures, 3 lectures in Human Systems 1 for both Medical Physics, Pharmaceutical Chem and Cellular Biology.
3. EVERYONE which encompasses all the Aussie relatives, are down for the holidays
4. Her finals are two weeks after the blasted India trip
5. She's going to be in India for the entire Christmas trip
6. She wants to blog about a delightful parcel she received two days ago - MY FIRST PARCEL!- but has no time to take pictures of it's contents and upload them onto blogger because to start with, this isn't even HER laptop, it's her cousin's she's using.
7. She's also extremely backward in class

On the plus side, she caught up with sleep!

And yet...

*whines*

Why did I wanna become a doctor again??