Blah, Crud, Ugh

Whenever I feel like I'm about to lose something, I do something that could just provoke it further.


I cling to every bit of fiber I can to keep it with me.


For no reason at all, my mood just spiraled downhill come late last night. And then insecurities about myself crept in. I started wondering if I was ever good enough for anyone. Then the demons of the night (or wee morning) got to me...

"You're too big!"
"You're sick cause you GOT too big,"
"Stop sleeping less, that's why you're so big!"
"If you don't watch out, that could be YOU in a few years *points to picture of an insanely obese woman*,"
"Are you sure your skin toiletries are working? I don't see any difference..."
"She's pretty...if you lost weight, you could come close,"
"Start going to the gym la! I'll only consider a new laptop then,"
"If you lose 20 kgs, I'll double your allowance"
"Don't eat anything. Go on a liquid diet,"
"You could do without the extra calories,"
"You fat slob!"

There are more. But I forgot. And well, all those were true. I've gotten em many times. And not by outsiders either, entirely family.


It makes me wonder despite some things being so good, with the way our world is, will good things always stay good?


Sigh. I'm just tired I guess.