The Coconut Chronicles

Who's The Bitch??

2008-02-17T22:21:00.004+08:00

...

Honey. I think we need to talk.

Yeah, we damn well do. I know there's someone else.

Oh?

You haven't been blogging in me much, I sense you seeming a tad dettached. What did I ever do to you? You know you could have talked to me about this...baby, we've never kept secrets from each other.

It's not that. I know it's been four years and all. But I think I have to move on. You're holding me back...

Oh, so now I'M the one holding you back?! I've been sitting here for four years, listening to you rant and rant and spill your sad sorry sordid affairs and now you just wanna pack up and leave?!

But baby...this platform works on Java...

So?! What's so great about Java anyway??

Well. To put it simply, I can change the way she looks everyday. Iph, she's a lovely blog. No messy html codes, the templates look so professional, it's so easy to customize everything and make it oh-so personal...it's a lot more intimate that way...Plus...I get my own domain name too.

Are we not intimate enough? *points to banner* I have COCONUT TREES FOR YOUR COCONUT CHRONICLES!

Well maybe I don't wanna be a coconut anymore!!!

*gasps and holds heart*

Yes! I'm Ash and I'm moving onto another decade of my life, entering university, I'm an adult now! I've got no time to mess around with stupid Blogger codes that irritate the living daylights outta me. Yes it's been four years and I've been faithfully committed to you but honestly? Iph lets me breathe...she gives me space.

You monster...

Look. You've got plenty of other people with you. And I'll check up on you often enough. I'll even link to you. You'll be an episode, a website that holds memories of my teenhood and adolescence. Sure, I still act like a kid sometimes but in all technicality, I'm an adult now! I need a change...

*stiffles a sob*

Oh...don't cry...

It's been four years...

I know...but change is good. And who knows, maybe this will do us some good. Some space. I'm sure you're sorta tired from listening to me all the time....

Is she pretty?

She's gorgeous

*bawls*

Ok ok, she's fat!

Really?

Yeah. Chubby.

Hee.

You're way better.

You'll check on me?

Yes, everyday. I promise.

What about posting, are you gonna stop posting in me?

It won't be often baby...but I'll look after you. Don't worry.

You're a jerk, you know that?*stiffles a sob*

Look at it this way, you can take a break. Be my secondary blog for a bit.

So I'm the mistress now and she's the wife?

Maybe.

*lights up* Hmm. That's kinda kinky.

You know it.

Maybe this could work.

Maybe it could.

When do you leave?

After this post.

Can we have sex?

Uh. No. That's just...er, wrong.

Thought I'd ask.

Right.

Alright. Say goodbye to kinky me then! *purrs* Buuuuuuhbyeeeee!

Uh. Ok. Buhbye then.

Yes folks! I'm moving to a different blogging platform, I'm finally turning traitor to Blogger and OH! Here's the URL to the new one.

Ashyville ---> http://ashyville.i.ph

Tada! =D

Yes, no more coconuts, no more coconut chronicles. From now on, it's Ashyville. A more apt name for a place that serves as a medium of expression from all the thoughts in me head aka Ashyville. This blog will always be around, and it's been a good four years but I've found another platform that better suits my needs and I'm moving now, before uni starts.

So to whoever who has linked to me, change your links! I'm there now, I will update THAT one more rather than this one.

Bid adieu to Coconut Chronicles people!

And helloooo Ashyville! =D

Turning 21 again!

2008-02-17T20:16:00.009+08:00

Yes, Funkymonkey was certainly right when she said that we'd be attending lotsa parties this year.
And this time around, it was Esther's sister, Sharon who turned 21! Yes, although this was the first time of me meeting Sharon, I went and had good company with me too. Wonderboy, Screw and Philee* came along too.

The words comedy, liquor and laugher would sum the entire night up in a nutshell.

I also got to meet Freethinker in person! =D He has a very nice car btw. A vibrating one. Kinky, no? *waggles eyebrows*

Freethinker, Wonderboy and Screw

The night was pretty much alive thanks to the two jokers that are Screw and Wonderboy (doesn't that sound like Pinky and The Brain? Haha, guess who's Pinky =D) They really should start up a stand-up comedy gig and they'd seriously earn some good money.

Me : You guys really should start a show together.
Screw : No, I can't joke under pressure.
Wonderboy : But I can
Me : Kel, remember how I wanted you to emcee my wedding reception?
Wonderboy : Yeah?
Me : Can you do it with your bitch? *points at Screw*
Wonderboy : No!
Screw : Hell yeah!

The duo having a couple's spat . Put liquor between em and this is what happens. The booze gets more affection instead!

Then we women got up to our camwhoring tricks again.

And oh, proof of Screw's bad photography -- A CARPENTER ALWAYS BLAMES HIS TOOLS!

Then I spotted this cute kid at the party who really reminded me of how I used to look back when I was 3-4 years old. Heh. Philee pointed out the dear to me and I couldn't resist but try to get a shot of her. But the pictures I took ended up getting blur because I tried to toggle with the camera upon the rest insisting the camera had a problem. This resulted in even shittier pictures.
But I persisted and got something remotely decent.

See the kid in the middle?

Yes, that small cutie with the adorable smile, looking with glee at the huge creamy cake.

There, tis the clearest shot I could get of her. Ain't she a darling?

Gods, narcissism runs all through my veins! =D And no, I'm not a paedophile.

Then Philee and I got bored with the oodles of cream on our cakes so we decided to turn the white creams into different colours. I had a pastel green earlier and she got this colour.

To quote Philee...

Pink is not a colour. It's an attitude!

Also, I met an old online friend of mine, Vickrem! Screw took a shot but it was so bad, I deleted it. Another time then. It's been a while since we chatted, we used to talk a lot. Turns out he lives right opposite IMU! =D

So after a few watered down shots, lotsa laughing and watching Screw and Wonderboy try and flirt with anything female (I don't count, I'm an IT -- which works for me wherever THEY'RE concerned) we got into the vibrating car again, missed our stop at Tasik Selatan and got dropped off at the Sri Petaling station instead -- thank you Freethinker! -- and my mum picked us up, we dropped the Godless Heathen (Wonderboy) off then the Pink Princess ** and I headed back.

Exhausted.

But otherwise happy =D

And if you haven't already noticed, there isn't a single shot with the birthday girl...

...

Happy 21st birthday Sharon! =P

Finito

* Philee, you need a blogname
** Can I use Pink Princess? =D

Hugh Laurie presenting at the 2006 Emmy's

2008-02-15T18:00:00.001+08:00

*sniggers*

This guy just rocks.

I have no time...

2008-02-15T03:03:00.003+08:00

"...for commitment-phobic, damaged and dysfunctional, tall, dark and not necessarily handsome old sweethearts,"

~The Coconut, 3.11am, 15|2|2008, over a very ranty MSN conversation with the Apathetic Jakun

Blechentines

2008-02-14T23:35:00.002+08:00

I just like the title =P

Doesn't the over-commercialised tricks and trends put you off it? And you can HARDLY call me bitter because I don't have singlestitis, I'm very much in love with my boyfriend and he's sent me gifts that are on the way -- and late cuz KL post sucks -- and I've sent him stuff too so you can NOT say I'm bitter.

But the cliche of it all...

I mean yeah, sure, I do get mushy and all that but the way things are overpriced and the stores are always coloured PINK really gets on my nerves...

Don't get me wrong, I don't really have anything against pink, I even own some bits of clothing that are and am currently wearing a pink blouse even -- the hypocrisy, I know -- but it's the whole cliche of Valentines that gets to me...

Do you HAVE to be out on a date with that 'special one'? Can't you instead be out with THOSE special ones? And no, I'm not talking polygamy but your friends, family and OTHER people special to you?

And as such, I feel that one should have lotsa Valentines. Maybe it's my own selfish reasoning that has inspired this -- reasons you will never know -- but it has benefit for all.

My folks, bro and sis and I went out. We went to this vegetarian restaurant in PJ called Nature's Garden and treated ourself to soy delights. Such joy...

We decided to sacrifice for mum tho we INSISTED on Chinese food instead of the usual curries -_-

Mock sharkfin's soup -- which in my opinion tastes way better than the real thing cuz the real thing has a funny fishy smell to it which I don't particularly like.

Charsiew fried rice -- mock of course! But I had to avoid this one...*cries*

And that was what I could afford to put on my plate....beancurd, sweet potato leaves and 3 pieces of mock chicken *cries*

Shall I disclose who I got this from? Naaaaaaaahhhh =P

So here's to Blechentines and Single's Awareness Day. *lifts glass*

Why Today Already Sucks

2008-02-14T12:00:00.002+08:00

My bro is a complete moron. I had to get up at 8AM JUST to send his PE clothes to school all cuz he FORGOT his clothes. And I had to get up, put on something decent so that my nightwear didn't make me look like some slut-mother and head out without brushing my teeth or gargling, half asleep to school. Where he SHOULD have been waiting for me, which he wasn't so the maid had to get down and go all the way up to his class to send it because I wasn't dressed decently enough -- READ: NIGHTWEAR -- did I mention I was half-asleep? And had only 4 hours sleep before?
My boyfriend's mother cut the internet off on Valentines. Great. So now, I'm doing ABSOLUTELY nothing for Vday. Ahuh. No way of contacting him either. Yay.

Where are my happy pills?

*looks at empty bottle*

I'm going back to bed.

Happy Vday folks.

The Best I Could Ever Have

2008-02-14T03:04:00.002+08:00

This goes out to the love of my life. It doesn't rhyme and is pretty much free verse, but it's heartfelt. And with all that's been going on lately, I hope he knows just how much I appreciate and love him for being in my life. . .

I wish I could be the best for him
He deserves all the good there is
He makes the bad turn into bliss
With his ever-loving arms
Outstretched to save me

I wish I could be the best he can have
He listens to all my despair
To all my sordid affairs
He stays strong and silent
And still picks me up when I fall

I try to be the best he can hold
But I'm nowhere near perfect
I snap, hurt and lack tact
He holds onto a wriggling me
And somehow calms me down

When I'm hurting he holds me
When I'm crying he cries with me
He loves me for all I am
He sees in me the things I can't
And I try to be the best I can

I wish I could be the best for him
But I'm nowhere close to him
His love is divine, so pure it's sin
He keeps me safe from all the bad
He's the best I could ever have...

Happy Valentine's Day sweety =)

I Think People Can Be Sooo Stupid

2008-02-14T01:59:00.002+08:00

Know of xiaxue.blogspot.com?

There. Nuff said.

I ACTUALLY decided to take a peek at it cuz these are one of the few names you know of in the blogosphere. I actually prefer Kenny Sia anyday. Why?

Because after going through a post of SO many things she had gotten from her trip to US...and THEN reading comments like...


;HUIQI(: said...: you rock!
hahas i love your ear piercings too(:
roslyn's huge star tatoo too (:
but you 2 always makes me laugh till stomach ache!
but i really admire you too<3<3
hahas i'm not mad,just bimbo'ic!
hahas (:
Or


Diyana_shah said...: I think you are pretty and very cute..People who thinks you are commercialised are so stupid.. I like you..So pretty..I adore u so much..

Oh puhlease...like after several nosejobs later and massive photoshopping???

Personally, I don't have anything against her. But imagine becoming FAMOUS because of that and not something like, saving a kid from drowning or something. And Kenny Sia earns money from blogging too...but gosh. The shallowness is ABSENT while the pink frills in hers just further accentuate all the bimboism.

Yes, I'm bitching. But this is MY blog. And I'll bitch all I want. And if Xiaxue, if you ever do read, I really do empathize about the family and all. But try looking at your posts again and get outta that defensive boat you sail in and maybe, just maybe, see that yeah, your haters just could be right.

I wanted to post about something much more important but I just HAD to get this frustration outta my system. Ugh. Anything/anyone shallow + Ash = Nausea

Back in black!

2008-02-13T23:40:00.003+08:00

Hell yeah babey! =D

Alright, first thing's first.

I've started a fruit and veg diet -- inspired by none other than Mr Kipsy G and Kennysia. Heh. It's some detox diet thing that you go on for like, 5 days. Tho I cheated. Well, naturally. I had one sausage too -- too carnivorous I am.

The reason behind me finally dieting is quite simple.
I need to lose weight so I can make cruel jokes at all the family members who have belittled me in the past about MY weight =D
Sounds saddistic but oh yeah, they deserve it and this is the BEST and most perfect way to do it to vent all my frustration out. Hah! It give me some form of leverage *grins*

So today's meals consisted of...

Milo
A pear
Tea
A banana
One sausage
Soya bean milk

I'm somewhat proud of myself to have lasted dinner watching my brother wallop mee goreng and sis chow down a hot dog and mum indulge in fried meehoon *cries* Oh and granddad had my favourite Ipoh kueh teow soup...the one from my favourite shop...

*drools*

Oh Ash, get your head back into the bigger picture here.

Vengeance, will be oh-so sweet...owh yeah.

Another thing...that is almost godsent -- if Big Blue balls of energy could send miracles that is...

I shut my laptop down cuz it was getting slow, the internet slowed down and restarting it usually helps make it better. So when I restarted it, Windows had to install 8 updates. Now, I've been surviving for weeks now with a laptop that has two missing laptop keys and a Trojan/malware/spyware/adware virus. The virus caused internet explorer windows to keep popping up and it was ridiculously crazy to open the laptop cuz when I'd leave it on and wake up the next day, I'd find like 48 IE windows open *headdesk*

When I restarted however...I got this speech bubble from my taskbar saying...

"Malicious software has been removed from your pc. Click here for details"

And so I clicked =D

"Malware virus removed"

*deep breath*

HALLALUYAH!!!!!!

*throws confetti and jumps around excitedly*

Third story:

I weigh a kg less today.

Woot!!!!!!!!!!

And such was today. I somehow feel so utterly accomplished...

OMFG!!!!!!!!

2008-02-12T01:41:00.000+08:00

You gotta excuse me. I've found reason to be a traitor to Blogspot for =D

THERE'S A NEW BLOGGING PLATFORM THAT TOTALLY TOTALLY ROCKS!!!

And it's right here at http://i.ph

Talk about simple and sweet. Your domain add will just be --as in MY case > http://ashyville.i.ph

Tada

And I'm thinking of switching there too! But imagine...after 4 years of using blogger...so sedih la. One thing good about this one is that you can customize almost everything and set some posts to private and some public =D

Yes, so I can emo or bitch all I want without some of you actually reading *evil grin*

Such a comforting thought, no?

And you can modify so many things about it too. You can even make the posting template bigger, you get to make photo albums, it comes with a shoutbox, there are ready-made templates that you can modify to glory and make it look extremely different, suited to thy taste, and there are NO complaints so far. So maybe you can't make your own layout.

But why would you want to when everything's guided so well and there's so much variety and personality you can add to it? =D

Yes. I think I shall switch soon. Tho...

I'm gonna miss my Coconut Chronicles =(

Highway To Hell

2008-02-11T21:28:00.000+08:00

I have...two more weeks till uni starts.

HELP!!!

And therein begins medschoolitis.

Yes, I'm late when compared to my peers. I have a cousin who's well into her second year at Law School and my batchmates at A-levels have long started their first year and are onto their second sem. But oh well, life's got a few bumps, what do ya do?

Bump back =)

Anyhoo, THIS came in the mail today:

And once again, there's a DRESS CODE!

Formal wear...no...*cue dramatic music*

JEANS

*headdesk*

Dorothy Perkins, here I come!!!

I'm kinda apprehensive about starting > tis the perfect word to sum up feeling both excited, nervous, nauseas, giddy and neurotic.

Or maybe not.

At any rate, once I commence school, things will change. And here's what I'll be doing less of:

Less time on the net to blog
Less time to chat and talk to friends
...less time with Chris :( Our hours won't coincide proper, I can't stay up much and will have classes in the morning so we can only talk proper over weekends. We've been spending a lot of time together these past two months so I'm gonna have to get used to just weekends now =(
Less time to write *cries hard*

And as such, my luxurious lifestyle of doing absolutely nothing will end in 2 weeks.

*sobs endlessly*

Here I come, medschool. Please let me stay in one piece *prays fervently*

Borders, Nandos and Brewball

2008-02-11T18:03:00.000+08:00

Last week, on a Friday to be more precise, I went out with two nuts, Screw and Wonderboy, who saved me from immense boredom and depression from being at home for too long. And as always, whenever out with these fellows, we come out with idiotic observations and end up debating about nonsensical stuff.

But what's so funny was how I thought that these two, were such BFFs =P

Me : What are you two doin for Valentines?
Both : Probably go out
Me : Well, I er meant what were your individual plans but if you've BOTH got something planned and wanna swing that way, oooh-kayy.
Screw : *laughs*
Wonderboy : *glares*

We went to a few places *points to post title* -- the first to satisfy Wonderboy's pretext of seeming intelligent. Maybe we'll give him that tho Screw and I agreed he's in denial about his apparent 'good looks'

Ah well.

While in Borders, Screw pointed out something quite stupid.

And now, note the section we found it in.

What an insult to a book =P

Then we headed to Cold Storage to satisfy Screw's thirst. And for some reason, we ended up in the liquor store. After getting tired of listening to both of em contemplating various ways in how to nick good liquor from the store -- and not actually doing it -- I wandered off and found something icky.

THAT's WAXED golden duck...

*blinks*

Screw finally found his drink but then he discovered the price-checker machine and went wonky with it, checking the prices for everything just to hear it go BEEP.

And that was when the salesperson showed up looking at him as tho he were nuts.

Hah! Classic.

Then we headed to Nandos (to satisfy my hunger =D) and because I was too busy devouring my 1/4 HOT chicken (with Mediterranean rice and peri chips! =D) , I couldn't be bothered to snap shots.

Wonderboy : You know, no matter how much we talk about asses and boobs, at the end of the day, we'd like women who make us laugh. A funny girl is so hard to find.
Screw : *stares at Kel as tho he's crazy* YOU like funny girls.
Wonderboy : Wouldn't you like a girl who could keep an intelligent and decent conversation up with you?
Screw : You're supposed to TALK to them???
Wonderboy : Dude...
Me : Figures why you both are still single *looks away to avoid intense glares from the two of em*

Then we headed to Brewball because APPARENTLY, we went to Borders for Wonderboy, and Nandos for me and now we had to go to Brewball to satisfy Screw. He needed to beat Wonderboy at pool. And they tried to get me to play but there's a reason why guys love for girls to play pool...

Ash doesn't risk it with her wardrobe of low-cut tops -_- Maybe with a turtleneck.

After Screw lost several times to Wonderboy and me getting tired from laughing too much at Wonderboy's attempts of making up simpulan bahasa (malay proverbs) with his now broken malay

I made them take me for ice-creams -- they didn't have peanut butter and chocolate! *cries*

So while having ice-creams, we realised something.

Wonderboy...has VERY feminine hands. Oh-so pretty hands.

Spot Wonderboy's! =D Who da woman?!

And then I returned home to my room, my sanctuary and lotsa sleep.

Such was Friday.

The Veenai (Part 2)

2008-02-10T14:13:00.000+08:00

“Why?!”

Mrs Ganesh held a thin cane in her hand and came closer to her. Her scream was maniacal and her almond eyes glinted dangerously. That soft milky complexion waned and looked pale and white.

The wall provided comfort as she huddled against it, her head against her knees, arms wrapped around herself; some solidarity that backed her up. She chanced a glance at the portrait of her father on the wall between the whips, at the huge red dot that was on his forehead. His smile, his benevolence…

And then reality came into focus as the next sting came.

“CAN’T YOU GET IT RIGHT EVEN ONCE?!”

And the next sting came.

The red was everywhere now. But it was fluid, not at all powdery like kumkum powder. Kumkum powder fell everywhere and that’s why Jani had to keep dipping her index finger into the kumkum tray and dab it on the portrait of her father every day. Because kumkum powder falls off after a while, with the dust that blows it and changes everything. Like how the winds took him away from her and changed everything.

But this red, it stained the carpets. And the whimpering began to lessen now. There was still movement though. Soon, it would all be over.

And she lifted the instrument one more time.

When they brought the veenai into the house, Jani was indifferent. The relatives had talked about it. It was a family heirloom and her grandmother had just passed away, the great Madam Meenakshi. A skilled woman at the arts of the veenai and sithar, both string instruments of ancient Indian devotional music -- Carnatic music that Jani had had to learn when she was young. It was the only thing she took up voluntarily. She hadn’t a choice with the piano, organ or violin – all of which she had obtained teaching diplomas in already. Music came naturally to her, so it wasn’t so hard. But that was a blessing; it wasn’t that hard to be perfect there.

Her father used to sing this carnatic music to her. The coherence of the Sanskrit, the melodious tones of his soft, subtle and soothing voice, a lovely memory she held with her for always.

The veenai was placed by the altar. She was to start classes that very evening, with Mrs Ganesh by her side, watching her pluck every string. The veenai looked beautiful, with intricate carvings and its dark wood glistening by the altar. Jani could see her grandmother playing it. She felt it intrusive to be playing her instrument. But Mrs Ganesh had insisted she do so. And Jani, once again, could not question that. It took a great deal of pain to acquire the veenai, much squabbling between Mrs Ganesh and her siblings.

But Mrs Ganesh always did get away with everything.

Someone was trying to break down the door. It was probably the maid, Maria. She used to watch everything but she never dared to intervene. Yet now, she banged the door hysterically. Jani supposed the red that had seeped from under the door scared her.

After several months, she had her graduation ceremony, her arengetram. She knew all there was to carnatic music, she was skilled, she played with such fluency; her teacher was impressed. And Mrs Ganesh would nod at each pluck, each beat and each rhythm. The music was enchanting and it filled that hollow household with memories of the time her father was there with them. As she sat on the stage and stared at the crowd, she saw no one but Mrs Ganesh. And when she played his song, as a surprise for the crowd, she thought she saw a tear. And when she looked again, it wasn’t there anymore.

It was probably just the light.

The door was going to come down any moment now. She should just get it over with. There was no turning back.

And then he came.

Yes, him.

He was just a few years older. And she was his teacher. She had grown so skilled with the veenai that she could now teach. Oh how she loved their sessions together.

He was the son of a distant uncle -- tall, dark, with a kind smile. Just like her Appa.

She would often stare at them both, at him and then at her father’s portrait. His name was Krishna too. Just like the Krishna that came to help the Pandavas. Such a similar smile to Appa’s, maybe this Krishna was a reincarnation of her father?

She was 18 and in love.

And there were times when Mrs Ganesh wasn’t around and he’d lean over and give her a peck on her cheek. And also times when she’d just listen to him play. It was like her father singing to her again only this time it was different. Krishna was playing to her. They’d play together, their own little way of elapsing into their own little world. Times when his fingers would brush hers when she thought him how to pluck at the strings, when their fingers would glide over the instrument together.

And Mrs Ganesh had come in during one of those times. And the glint in her eyes and colour on her face only told Jani one thing.

This little run-in had occurred just two weeks ago. Krishna never came back for classes. Jani never heard from him again. She didn’t know how to contact him, they had never thought about it until then.

But something had happened that night. And Jani knew Krishna wasn’t going to come back. She knew like with all the other good things in her life, nothing was going to change unless she made things change.

Every night, without fail, after her bath, Mrs Ganesh would descend from her room upstairs to the altar. She would sit by the altar and meditate, with her feet in the lotus position, her eyes closed.

She was a picture of perfection.

So was the veenai, all delicate and intrinsic and hard.

Jani looked down below at the whimpering figure. She could barely recognise her now. The milky white face was drenched in red. Her silky straight black hair, matted with more red and her light pink nightgown splattered with more of that red. Those almond eyes, she could barely tell what shape they were now.

Any moment now, Maria was going to come right in.

“This…” she whispered, while raising the veenai again one last time, “This is for Krishna,”

The crash sounded just as the door burst open. Maria screamed at the sight in front of her, just as Jani expected her to. But she wasn’t alone, the neighbours were there too, Mr and Mrs Sharidan. And they looked nauseated, probably from the sight of all that red.

Slowly, Jani put the veenai down. Odd, it felt heavy now. It was strangely light seconds ago. And relief overwhelmed her.

A sense of free will.

“S-s-s-stay there Jani…” stammered Mr Sharidan, while pushing Mrs Sharidan away and out of sight of the gruesome figure on the floor, lying in all the red.

“Okay,” said Jani obediently. And she stayed there, watching Maria sob endlessly and looked indifferent as the blood streamed out into the hall. She stared at the mess in front of her, the portrait of Krishna. Where are you, Krishna?

She felt free.

And she looked on at the body as the police came and took her away, cuffs and all.

She was free.

Such is a the beauty of a woman's heart...

2008-02-10T02:28:00.000+08:00

...that she can be so hard and angry one moment and be compassionate the very next second to the very creature that bit her

~Sir Doink, 3.05pm, 10|2|08, in a very consoling text message

Major Sheppard

2008-02-08T14:09:00.000+08:00

Another one worthy of the drool feed =D

And I really have my boyfriend to thank for this, really. He got me hooked onto Stargate Atlantis =P

*runs away as fast she can from Chris*

Kill Elmo -- NOW

2008-02-07T05:06:00.000+08:00

Once upon a time...in a quiet Toys R Us outlet somewhere in Parkson, Subang, Selangor, Malaysia...

...I got bored? =P

Family Day -- I think

2008-02-07T04:18:00.000+08:00

Today was one of those rare days my Mum and I got along. I'm guessing it's only cuz I'm not at home for the week and staying over at my uncle's -- yes, Uncle Evil -- in the Glenmarie Manor. He insisted on my grandparents coming over so wherever they go, I go. Some family unit thingy I belong to which explains my confusion a lil when Mum insisted the three of us go out as a family for lunch later (the three of us being intelligent me, my glutton of a brother and soon2be anorexic sister).

But not before she took all three of us with dysfunctional nasal issues to an ENT dude in Assunta. Dr Chandran was pretty good actually. He listened in to my brother's paranoia regarding the huge microscope thingy, laughed a lot when I kept asking him about the sharp object that was about to go up my nose...

Dr : *stuffs FOUR frackin' cotton buds dipped in awful anasthetic up both my nostrils* I'm going to give you some local anasthetic to --
Me : WHY? Will it hurt??
Dr : Not really but just make it less uneasy
Me : THIS feels uneasy. What if I sneeze while you stick it in?
Dr : Your nose will be too numb to have such urges.
Me : Are you sure?
Dr : I could always stuff more cotton buds up your nose just to be safe.
Me : No, that's quite alright.

4 cotton buds up my nostrils and 30 mins later...

Me : I can't feel my nose. Or lips.
Dr : *laughs*
Me : No, I'm not joking. It's serious.
Dr : It'll wear off.
Me : ...

Then Shibs insisted on chicken rice from The Chicken Rice shop so we drove all the way up to Subang Parade for chicken rice. I saw an Elianto make up stand and mum reminded me to get more make up cuz I don't wear much. I insisted she pay for it then. But the stuff was good, the lip gloss leaves a nice minty feel =D I'll be wearing that more now.

Then Niraj (br0) insisted on heading to Toys R Us. So I made a beeline for my favourite part of the store =D

So much for turning 21...

It's been 2 birthdays since I saw these guys and NO ONE has gotten one of em for me yet. Tho I can't seem to make up my mind as to which I like better. All I know is, I want one.

And then I saw this guy...

*shudders*

After that I got bored and started making skits using hand puppets =D and mum helped! =D

Then we headed to Speedy Video and I saw something that irked the living daylights outta me.

Wtf?!

I mean, is THAT movie gonna make you change your FAITH? Do they REALLY think all Muslims THAT easily swayed??

Talk about your stupid self-insults...Sheesh...

Then I came home and someone was less bitchy today and in a much better mood so I watched my aunt make pizza.

Just so I could eat it later =D

And that's pretty much today if you don't include the drowsy feeling that set in after the anthistamines and NEW nasal sprays

-_-

Severe allergic rhinitis sucks.

The 1st 21st Celebration of the Year

2008-02-06T06:05:00.000+08:00

So although there were a few other birthdays that have flown past, this is the first grand 21st of the year that I attended and it was Asherra's. The theme was red and black so as you can see, I dutifully stuck to the code.

Hot lips? Sure...who's gonna know? =P

Me and the ever-adorable Mr Gomez, haha. Gotta lurve that look ;)

House and me. I have no idea what that saddistic smirk was about.

Dharsh and me : here's the irony, Dharsh finally grew her hair with locks and all and I chopped mine off.

The lot of us : Justin, Shannon, Kel, Suet Lee, Bday Gal Ash, Kuan, Me and Dharsh

Normal people like Justin keep their eyes closed when the flash gets too bright. I don't know what Kel's excuse is really.

Kuan and me

Me and the birthday gal =)

I unfortunately don't have pictures of us dancing but oh well, the memories are good enough. Twas the first time some stranger asked me to dance too. Well he didn't really ask, just sorta kept dancing in front of me till I finally figured out what it was he wanted =p We danced a lot to a lotta good tracks, particular the fast-beat tamil songs, ha! Justin even attempted some tamil songs too =P

Wonderboy was an unusual granddad that night:

Wonderboy : Who's your guy friend?
Me : I frankly have no idea.
Wonderboy : Ah. Great.

Then later...

Me : *motions for a drink*
Wonderboy : You want BEER?
Me : No you dolt, SPRITE.
Wonderboy : Phew...

After that...

Me : *bends over to strap shoes on*
Wonderboy : Pull your tube up.
Me : WHAAT?
Wonderboy : You heard me. Pull. Your. Tube. Up.
Me : I'd rather YOU look ELSEWHERE, thank you very much.
Wonderboy : Oh and no one else is gonna look?
Me : Oh stop grumbling you fusspot *pulls tube up*

-_-

And that wraps it up, folks!

New Link

2008-02-05T23:01:00.000+08:00

I love this blog. It's just so...insightful.

Can Of Worms

Don't ask me why, it just touched me. Thought I'd just share this with you all.

My New-Old Addiction

2008-02-05T21:43:00.000+08:00

Ok so maybe it's an imitation of Mutant X, X-men etc etc but oh gosh the stars here look waaaaaaay hotter than any of those.

My drool list are as follows:

Sylar - YES, I think the cruel morbid-killing machine is oh-so frackin' hot. Maybe Emperor Insanity might shed some light on this? =P
Mohinder Suresh - Just to pay some respects to me Indian roots --I'M KIDDING, the intelligence is a bloody attraction alright? Plus he's hot =P
Peter Petrelli - Hee. This is purely hot. *hides from Chris*

And that's it really. But Heroes Season 2 ROCKS! Plus Claire gets a hot, equal superhero boyfriend. Finally someone gets to channel off all that teen angst from her.

Also, I'm watching a new series. Brothers and Sisters -- don't roll your eyes at me folks! Tis a typical soap and so far, they haven't shown any shagging just yet but there's a GAY couple in there that's part of the cast and damn well behave like a normal couple would.

*sniggers* I just find that so funny.

I'll blog a bit more later. Kinda pissed with some things at home but the tv's a frickin' good distraction alright.

*waves*

New Linkage!

2008-02-04T18:32:00.001+08:00

Yes, after much blogrolling, I've discovered several other blogs worthy of linkage and you can see them under Blogroll right here ;)

You people are now on my reading list, be proud! *offers you lot cookies*

I accept payment in the form of comments, hits, ad-clicks and linkage too =P

....................................

Esther is gonna have a go at me for being so despo/mengade, haha!

Cured! (for the moment) - The Veenai (Part 1)

2008-02-04T18:32:00.000+08:00

And I'm not talking about my blood-sneezing escapades or my continues chest cold infections either! =D

Tis the cured Writer's Block! I've recently come to finish a short story I had planned out last year but I never finished it cause I had NO idea how to finish such a story. You see, I wanted a happy ending but not the typical predictable sorta happy ending where everything's suddenly alright again cause this is one of those stories where realistically speaking, there will BE NO happy ending.

So then it came to me. BITTERSWEET!
And I have my muse, the one and only, JAKUN to thank!

Well at any rate, I'll post it up in parts then =D

And here's part 1 ...

The Veenai

by Ashvini Rajah

The crashing sounds continued. Sweat trickled off Jani’s forehead, splashing onto the floor, her arms working up a storm. The screams echoed through the night…

And suddenly, she was 12 again. The rapping sounds on her door woke her up. And if that didn’t, the slaps would.

“Get up, you lazy good-for-nothing idiot!”

And she would get up too. One might wince or yell back. But she never did. She would get up, take those slaps and head right on to the bathroom. She might have cowered a bit or flinched -- those slaps could get painful sometimes. Maybe they always were. But one tends to get a little numb over time.

She would comb her hair into a rigid ponytail. Messy hair was never allowed. With a dab of hair cream in her hand, she’d pat all those strands right into place. She’d put on her glasses, her thick, shell-rimmed glasses. On came those long sleeved tops. She hated them, they made her skin itch. And it was hot, too hot to wear them. Yet, she couldn’t afford to show skin.

“Hurry up Jani! Make it quick. No breakfast otherwise,”

Her skin itched.

And it tingled too. The slap still stayed on her skin today -- a red mark on her face that she’d have to make up a clever story about, for the kids at school to fall for.

She stared at the calendar. July 15th was today

She was 12 today.

The screams echoed on. She could hear distant noise in the background, the sounds of people stirring. Soon they all would come. But did it matter? Not right now. She was nearly done. She kept her strength going and lifted the instrument once more. She was the powerful one for once.

A howl followed.

And she couldn’t care less.

And now she was five and in kindergarten.

“Now who wants to go on a field trip to the zoo?” Miss Alice had said it with such enthusiasm, she couldn’t help but smile at the mere memory of it.

She had grabbed the permission form for the trip – a meaningless act. For when she got home…

“No,”

She should have known that the woman would have been firm. Yet, she had to try.

“But why??” whined Jani. It was the last time she ever did whine.

SMACK!

She fell to the floor, blinking bewilderedly at the tall and elegant woman in front of her.

“What did you get for your exam last week?”

Jani struggled to recall. All she remembered was colouring the number of apples that were indicated by the side of that question. She had used pink, but it didn’t really matter. As long as she got the number right.

“98,” Jani had said, softly.

The glare the woman shot at her pierced right into her.

“Out of…?” said the woman, slowly.

She blinked again.

“100,”

Silence ensued.

“Where did those 2 marks go to?” rasped the woman.

Jani couldn’t speak. All she knew was that she was the highest in the class. And after a few seconds of staring at the floor, she said so.

SMACK!

“It’s not a 100,” said the woman, pulling her roughly to her feet. “You didn’t get 100. You can’t go. If you’d had gotten 100%, I might have thought about it. So take this back and you get your 100%. We’ll think about it then,”

And because she believed that she had done wrong, she took the slip and went up to her room.

And she then tore that slip into pieces.

Someone was bound to come. Even the neighbours were beginning to stir. She stopped for a moment, still holding the instrument. Red, red was all she saw. Everything was red. As red as the kumkum by the altar. She stopped for a moment to stare at the portrait of Krishna, the 8^th reincarnation of Lord Vishnu who became mortal and descended to Earth to help the Pandava brothers of the Mahabrata epic defeat the sons of Dhrtarastra.

She smiled slowly.

A whimper distracted her.

Slowly, she lifted the instrument again and brought it back down with a crash.

She was 14.

“Your daughter is a remarkable student, Mrs Ganesh,” Mrs Pang had said. “Top of the class, every semester, every year, perfect marks. It’s almost impossible to be this perfect,” Mrs Pang had smiled generously at both Jani and that woman. Jani could only look down at her lap. She wasn’t deserving of such a smile.

“Yes, she is” Mrs Ganesh had smiled back, showing off her perfect white teeth while patting Jani’s head. They were all in place. Just like her hair, just like how her earrings matched her chain and how the accessories in turn matched her blouse. Her impressively good looks was further enhanced by a ravishing figure that stood out more in a trim pencil skirt and high-necked pinstriped white-collared shirt. Her heels clicked in rhythm as she had walked through the school gates and the older boys in higher forms who never did spare a glance at Jani would ogle and whistle at Mrs Ganesh. Almond-eyes, a milky complexion, she was just as everything on her was.

Perfect.

She was stroking Jani’s coarse hair now. It was a moment to remember, affection meant for the masses. She was a good proud mother. She loved her daughter. She loved all her daughter did.

It was perfect.

“Though there seems to be an anomaly right here…”

Mrs Ganesh’s words trailed off as Jani’s heart sank so low -- she swore she could hear a thud from when it hit the ground.

“Oh?” Mrs Pang reached out for her glasses and perched them on that flat bridge of a nose that held on to them pitifully. She stared intently at the report card in front of her. The A-grades stood out a dime a dozen; never had a student achieved such perfection. Jani was doing the school proud. The school never had produced excellent students, the general population of the students coming from the home nearby. Jani was a gem amongst the lot here.

Of course, Jani didn’t see all that. All she saw was the anomaly.

There was a B for PE.

Mrs Pang, unknowing, innocent, she saw perfection. But Jani was dreading that day the whole week already. Despite the A-grades, despite everything she had worked for…

She just couldn’t get an A in PE.

Jani looked at Mrs Ganesh quickly. Sure enough, Mrs Ganesh had spotted it and was examining it.

“Ah, don’t worry about that one lah,” Mrs Pang smiled again, brushing Mrs Ganesh off. “Everything else is ok, PE not so important. She’ll definitely get an award for top student. Her other capabilities are outshining her,”

Those words fell on deaf ears.

As they exited the school gates, with several schoolmates congratulating her on her success, Jani could only stare ahead and wish they were headed anywhere else but home…

There's another half I'll put up in a bit. Read, review and please please PLEASE comment! There's so much room for improvement but I can't see it yet, I need your objective third-eye views on it, grammar mistakes, punctuation, story flow etc.

COMMENT NOW!

The Cute Things He Does

2008-02-01T16:25:00.000+08:00

I had a list of things to blog about today.

Today's endeavours - the market, my cured writer's block and an apology to two darlings who always read my blog and have stopped commenting because I don't comment on theirs anymore -- yall know who yall are! =P
Funny conversations I've had with Statsboy, Beaver, Jakun.
The new short story I wrote that has had different responses from the 3 different people who were fed the beta and raw version of it!
How to be an Indian/How to know if you're Indian - no genetic pre-requisites required!
Funny book/story titles that could get you kicked out of the country for good.

Yes, quite a few posts it'd have made too.

But I forgot. And all because I decided to scroll down and read my previous few posts. I came across the post I made on the wee hours of morning after I got to open my first birthday gift. And was looking at this picture...

So then I opened the drawer where I keep all my private stuff -- wouldn't you lot love to know what's in there -- and took Chris's letter out to read again. Upon reading his sign-off as 'purushan' I just had to laugh.

For all of you who don't know what that means, ask your other Indian-tamil friends =P

And then I started recalling all the lil cute things he does that somehow always get me smiling despite the crummiest of days

He pouts -- he's gonna kill me for this
The kiddy scrawls on his handwritten letters -- YES, they ARE kiddy =P
Him wanting to learn Tamil and Malay
Him whining about how I don't comment on his blog
Him wanting me to open my gift over webcam, haha.
Him narrating future conversations we might have =P
The caveman-talk
The way he gets his dashunds to just flop all over him and just, like, die on him.
E-cards and song lyrics that reflect moments, good or bad.
His impersonation of my lil cousin sister, Medha.

Yes I'd better stop now cause I can see my friends infected with singlestitis rolling their eyes and choking as tho being strangled by invisible ropes and the hypocritic attached ones squirming and going "Ya ya, wait a few more months la,"

HELLO! I've BEEN in a relationship before ya kno!

Mangkuks...

Then a friend of mine -- this PARTICULAR Beaver I know -- told me to enjoy all the good that comes -- tho he added "while it lasts..." in a very morbid-like tone after that -_- mentah-mentah he's had like a decade of a relationship with HIS girlfriend *sticks tongue out at the naughty Beaver*

Oh well.

When anyone asks me why I fell in love with my boyfriend, I say...

"He's a nut, a very lovable one,"

*grins*

And he's going to be very happy because he reads and this post is aaaaaaaallll about him =P

PS - This is for the me-offering-you-cookies-thingy =P

Blah, Crud, Ugh

2008-01-31T09:49:00.000+08:00

Whenever I feel like I'm about to lose something, I do something that could just provoke it further.

I cling to every bit of fiber I can to keep it with me.

For no reason at all, my mood just spiraled downhill come late last night. And then insecurities about myself crept in. I started wondering if I was ever good enough for anyone. Then the demons of the night (or wee morning) got to me...

"You're too big!"
"You're sick cause you GOT too big,"
"Stop sleeping less, that's why you're so big!"
"If you don't watch out, that could be YOU in a few years *points to picture of an insanely obese woman*,"
"Are you sure your skin toiletries are working? I don't see any difference..."
"She's pretty...if you lost weight, you could come close,"
"Start going to the gym la! I'll only consider a new laptop then,"
"If you lose 20 kgs, I'll double your allowance"
"Don't eat anything. Go on a liquid diet,"
"You could do without the extra calories,"
"You fat slob!"

There are more. But I forgot. And well, all those were true. I've gotten em many times. And not by outsiders either, entirely family.

It makes me wonder despite some things being so good, with the way our world is, will good things always stay good?

Sigh. I'm just tired I guess.

People people PEOPLE!!!!

2008-01-30T22:15:00.000+08:00

I'm TERRIBLY excited =D

I made my FIRST RINGGIT by blogging with NUFFNANG!!!

Yes yes, I know it isn't much. But FINALLY!!! =D

And now...I beg ye all. In order to make Ash extremely happy...and excited and with very little effort too...

PLEASE CLICK ON THE ADS YOU SEE ON MY BLOG! PAAAAAA-WEEEEEASSSEEEE??

If I make enough, sure belanja all of you wan! =P

Hypo-Kra-Z

2008-01-30T18:23:00.000+08:00

And why doesn't Ash spell right?
Because THAT sounds like a band name rather than a boring word.

Which is true...Hypocrisy IS a band name but well, enough about that.

Everyone is a hypocrite. Tis simple really, do you follow advice you give to others?
You most likely don't. Thus making you --> a hypocrite.
But the EXTENT of hypocrisy in us all varies. I'd like to highlight a character -one that's fictional, sadly- who has a very SMALL extent of it and as such, is hated by the masses.

And that character is Gregory House.

For all of you who don't watch House, House is some one who tells it as it is. However blunt or tactless, it's the sheer truth. No pretences, no looking out for emotions and he follows what he preaches to major extents. Even tho it ails him. He has his human flaws (his addiction to vykadine) and he isn't perfect.

But he is one who cannot at all be called a hypocrite.

I could never understand being two-faced. Altho, I do put on a facade to some because I don't like worrying them plus I hate pity--makes me feel a whole lot worse. But could that be considered hypocrisy too?

"Hypocrisy is the act of pretending to support a belief or behaviour while holding the opposite beliefs or behaviours at the same time. Hypocrisy is frequently invoked as an accusation in debates, in politics, and in life in general. A few theorists have studied the utility of hypocrisy, and in some cases have suggested that the conflicts manifested as hypocrisy are a necessary or beneficial part of human behavior and society"

Well since the facades are a put-on behaviour, I guess I'd be a hypocrite too.

Tho serious hypocrisy can get a tad annoying sometimes.

Like when a person tells you what they feel and think and give another story to someone else.
Or when a person DOESN'T tell you their flaws and only feed you the ill that is being done to them rather than the actual story thus disabling you of making an objective decision.
And thus hypocrisy leads to deception, whether intentional or not.
Now, I'm not saying I'm a saint -- far from it really -- but either way, being two-faced has been something I never liked. I have done it. Like for instance, with my family. They disapprove of many things like relationships at an early age. With my ex boyfriend, I had to hide it from them for a year but I couldn't handle it. So eventually, I told them.
Naturally, they didn't take it too well. But there's a huge relief that washes over you when you don't have to hide stuff.

Altho, from experience, I'd rather hide it than have that relief. Because my folks wound up getting paranoid about every guy friend I'd meet after that. And I gave up trying to change their one-tracked minds, their limited paradigms.

But here's the main question really. Is hypocrisy essential to human survival?

Here's my take on it.

I believe it is tho not serious hypocrisy. Not when the deception hurts others or influences someone else in a way. Sometimes, you have to appear strong so others can lean on you. To me, that's hypocrisy because your behaviour betrays what you really feel. So yes, there are times that call for it. When we need to be a tad selfless.

What say you?

A Gruesome Story

2008-01-29T21:48:00.000+08:00

I sneezed blood today =D

And the reason there are no pics of THAT is because my grandma nearly fainted upon seeing it.

=D

The exact details are as follows:

Ash woke up to a major humongous sneeze that made it seem as tho her nose had been blown apart. In the dark, the mucus seemed...dark.
She didn't have time to grab a tissue, so it went SPLAT all over her nightwear - I was never one for grace.
She switched the lights on and voila! It looked as tho she had been murdered...
She dashed to the loo and cleaned up.
Second sneeze, more blood.
Cleaned up.
Third sneeze, she runs to Grandma
Grandma nearly passes out and calls up Aunt.
Aunt tells Ash to sleep and takes her to the pharmacy to buy meds after she wakes.
Ash dopes herself and returns to blog.

Anyway, this the 7th time I'm sick in...well since last September. I wonder why.
So Aunty Thaya chucked me lotsa meds which I have to take and then knock out on the bed.
Which I haven't done yet so at the moment, I'm in some weird kinda high.

Heh.

I'm thinking about getting a part time job at the Kumon Centre. Just have something to do, teach lil kids shit. Heh. The pay isn't much but neither are the hours so yeah, just some petty cash, side income won't hurt. Plus the center's right where I live. Well 3 mins drive anyway.

So here's to finding a life! *lifts glass*

Oh and my nose isn't bleeding anymore. Well, not for today.

*cue lightning bolts*

Absolute Hilarious Bollocks!

2008-01-28T22:20:00.000+08:00

Was watching Black Adder today. And came across a scene where the Black Adder gets kidnapped. And the kidnapper's Spanish so Black Adder had to play charades with him to guess what threats he was making. Hilarious seeing that at the end of it, both were more into the charades rather than the actual kidnapping.

Black Adder : So you want to remove...?
Kidnapper : *waves arms about lower region of body* Testiculos!
Black Adder : Oh those...erm..thingies.
Kidnapper : *nods enthusiastically*
Black Adder : So you want to remove my testicles?
Kidnapper : *makes cutting motion*
Black Adder : With some blunt gardening tool we have yet to guess it's type yet?
Kidnapper : *nods fervently*
Black Adder : Ahh...and this is if I say "I love Satan and all his minions,"
Kidnapper : *rolls over and does a somersault*
Black Adder : Oh, if I say "I'm head over heels in love with Satan and all his minions,"?
Kidnapper : *nods and does more motions*
Black Adder : So if I don't say I'm head over heels in love with Satan and all his minions you'll dip my head in marmalade?
Kidnapper : *exclaims in Spanish*
Black Adder : AND cut off my testicles with a blunt instrument?
Kidnapper : *jumps up and down in excitement*
Black Adder : Ah if THAT'S the case then, I'm head over heels in love with Satan and all his minions!
Kidnapper : *goes off to get blunt instrument and comes back with it*
Black Adder : Ohhhhh, it's a SCYTHE....

*falls off chair laughing*

Absolute hilarious bollocks!

I'm Not Drunk, Just Misunderstood

2008-01-28T02:07:00.000+08:00

At precisely 1am every night while blogging and chatting...

I get into a mad coughing fit.

I start coughing and coughing and then wheezing and I start coughing up sputum and mucus. Then I can't breathe and scarper to find my inhaler and take about 3-4 puffs and then it all goes away.

Tis freaky tho. And it ALWAYS happens at 1am.

Why IS Ash up this late tho?

Well today, she's having one helluva time taunting her supposed-to-be roomate all the way in Dublin.

*grins*

Love ya Statsboy ;) *giggles*

*falls off chair laughing*

Keys keys oh keys

2008-01-27T23:09:00.000+08:00

Yes. And just because I turned 21, I got THREE of those key-thingy pendants ya folks give ya when you supposedly turn 21. You're an adult and officially your own person. Hence the key to signify the key to trust, freedom, responsibility and adult-woes

Codswallop.

At any rate, Ash had a pretty decent 21st birthday, the best part of it being the morning and afternoon. I spent time with these darlings at KL Pavillion.

Philee dear! My oldest most dearest friend. We go way back to kindy! =D

And if you read blogs, you might know this famous woman who appears on ads in newspapers all the time ;)

Yes, that's Esther @ Estherchin.com ;)

We went to watch Sweeney Todd : The Demon Barber of Fleet Street.

And it was AWESOME! Fantabulous! Imagine, a murder musical...no happy music, no sickly sweet songs of falling in love or happy endings...Alright, no spoilers here tho I SHALL write a review tomorrow or day after about it when I feel like it. Fantabulous...GO WATCH! I command thee!

We had yummy nasi lemak from Madam Kwan's for brunch.

*drools* how many nasi lemaks do you see with chicken floss in it? =D

After brunch, the movie, we convinced a nice passerby (who was in search of a toilet, the poor thing) to take a picture of us 3 camwhores.

Then the funny dude ran off to pee =D

After sending Esther off to work (she works at Tangs as a promoter) Philee and I indulged in girly endeavours...

*giggles*

Then since the camwhoring wasn't enough, we had another round in Philee's car as her mum drove us through traffic.

There, me and my pink pwincess =D

Then I saw THIS on my table when I got back to my room.

My uncle sent that to me. Yes, twas Uncle Evil. Then again, I do like yellow roses. And white tulips and orkids =D

But before that...I did something...crazy.
I met my aunt at the hair salon...and...I...er...

I chopped off my waist length hair.

Yes. That's me. I went back to my old school days where I had only short hair and long hair was a legend. After nearly four years (since fourth form) of sporting long hair...here I am. Back again with the short hair. A new old look.

I think turning 21 scared me and prompted me to chop it off. I didn't take time to think about it either. All I did was text Chris and tell him and he was fast asleep so no replies and I couldn't wait plus I knew if I did I might not go ahead with it and bham. My locks were all over the floor.

Abhi stole some strands home. She won't let me have it even, to even snap a picture. She says I betrayed my locks and as such don't deserve them.

*cue twilight zone theme song*

And here are the presents I got!

A pearl set : earrings, chain and matching bracelet.

A hair iron that curls and straightens =D

Aunty Thaya's home made cake which was pure butter inside and had mint icing, yum!

A Guess watch...hee.

So that's it. Gifts, family, friends, pretty decent if you ask me. Lotsa people texted at exactly 12am - Emperor Insanity being the first, yes yes, I know =P - and amongst that lot were Tricia gurl *hugs Trish*, Jo the Gurk (I couldn't resist), Philee and a few others who took the pains of remembering. Then there were comments on Friendster, Facebook, phone calls.

Then there were dolts like Sir Doink and Wonderboy who FORGOT and thought it was on the 27th instead -_-

But altogether, it was a really decent birthday.

And I'm gonna face the beginning part of adulthood as best as I can. Coupled with a new look!

Which is frankly, quite essentially me.

Cheers ;)

Miracles =)

2008-01-25T00:41:00.000+08:00

It's 45 minutes past 12am. My family's fast asleep, Mum told me she's not getting a cake on account of us having a lunch on Saturday instead. Altho Uncle Evil wants to do something today night, I don't know what. Then they told me to call friends but well, if I call one friend I gotta call the rest. And my 20th was already pretty grand :)

Well anyway, I just wanted to make a special post about the first wish I got and the first present that came to me all the way from several continents and seas away =)

My amazing boyfriend just sent me these gifts from afar and as always, I love em. This one just, well, I love accessories and I love blue so, haha, this is the perfect blend of it *hugs Chris*

His lovely letter (with the cute kiddy handwriting, haha), the necklace and a CW signature poem! =)

The necklace =) - isn't it lovely?

A custom-made birthday poem =) and a letter *hugs Chris again*

Thanks you so much honey :)

More Annoyance

2008-01-24T15:54:00.000+08:00

Some time today morning in a quiet drive to the smelly fish market in PJ...

Ash : I'm going out with my friends tomorrow.
Grandmum : Which friends?
Ash : 20 guys that wanna do me.
Grandmum : Eh?
Ash : Philee and Esther
Grandmum : *makes noise*
Ash : What? It's my BIRTHDAY.
Grandmum : *mumbles* Meant to celebrate birthdays with family...
Ash : I don't like family. They annoy the living daylights outta me. Freakin' kolot. Plus I'm seeing you all at NIGHT. That's enough.
Grandmum : Yaya...
Ash : What is WRONG with going out?
Grandmum : *silent*
Ash : I'm not kolot like you.
Grandmum : *laughs*
Ash : You have no idea how true that was.

-_-

Whirly Twirly Swirly Squirly

2008-01-24T00:28:00.000+08:00

Is it remotely possible to experience so many emotions all at once?

Around 3pm...
Gedikness level builds up. Patrick Dempsey makes his first appearance on Sweet Home Alabama and does everything by the book and gets all the romance. Is strongly reminded of McStudly *happy sigh*

Around 4pm
Still rooting for Patrick Dempsey altho the childhood sweetheart looks pretty alright too and adores Reese Witherspoon and has a cute southern accent that once AGAIN reminds me of McStudly. *makes mental note to watch all romantic comedies with boyfriend henceforth*

Around 5pm
SIR DOINK RECEIVED MY PARCEL AND I AM TO COLLECT IT TODAY CAUSE I GET TO HEAD OUT GROCERY SHOPPING AND CAN PICK IT UP THEN! =D *ecstasy*

Around 6pm
Extremely irked because msn conversation with a dear friend in Dubai was disrupted THREE FRACKIN TIMES just cause she was supposed to do errands...

Around 7pm
FUCKING PISSED with idiot mother for coming along and spoiling the parcel pick-up. She came along cause she can't trust me to get groceries. Which is just fucking annoying to the max.

Around 9pm
Ash becomes a social recluse in her room, ranting and raving to anyone who'll listen.

Bah humbug.

This is NOT healthy I tell you.

The Missing Boyband Phase

2008-01-23T04:22:00.000+08:00

Yes.
I never had one.

*awkward silence*

Which is funny, cause my mum had hers like 5 years ago. She loved BSB.

*ignores awkward silence*

And that is why, its hilarious that I love this song.

*blushes*

Shut up yall! =P

She keeps her secrets in her eyes
She wraps the truth inside her lies
And just when I can't take what she's done to me
She comes to me
And leads me back to paradise

She's so hard to hold
But I can't let go

I'm a house of cards in a hurricane
A wreckless fire in the pouring rain
She cuts me and the pain is all I wanna feel
She danced away just like a child
She drives me crazy, drives me wild
But I'm helpless when she smiles

Maybe I'd fight it if I could
It hurts so bad, but feels so good
She opens up just like a rose to me
When she's close to me
Anything she asked me to, I would

Out of control
But I can't let go

I'm a house of cards in a hurricane
A wreckless fire in the pouring rain
She cuts me and the pain is all I wanna feel
She danced away just like a child
She drives me crazy, drives me wild
But I'm helpless when she smiles

When she looks at me (When she looks at me)
Get so weak

I'm a house of cards in a hurricane
A wreckless fire in the pouring rain
She cuts me and the pain is all I wanna feel
She danced away just like a child
She drives me crazy, drives me wild
But I'm helpless when she smiles

Don't. Laugh.

The Trojan Spyware Adware Malware Virus

2008-01-20T22:58:00.000+08:00

There are only two possibilities I can think of.

Someone's been surfing porn on my laptop
I sleep-surf porn on my laptop
My Big Blue Ball's mocking me

Either way, it's not funny.

-_-

Note serious face.

At a kid's party...

2008-01-20T03:11:00.000+08:00

...I had my first glass of wine in front of my mother.

I don't even LIKE wine. I've tried it before just to know why people like it enough to make it a fucking social drink. But today, I deliberately forced a glass down just because in 6 days I turn 21 and since freedom is something hard to come by with the folks - and turning 21 means nothing - I pretended to enjoy every bit.

And maybe just maybe, I love rebelling =D

And I hated the burning effect it gave me. It wasn't even SWEET wine, damnit.

Cousin 1 : So what time is your curfew? Let's go hang.
Ash : Used to be 10pm, now it's 8pm
Cousin 1 + 2 : *stare at me in disbelief*
Ash : *stares fixatedly at mother and speaks in loud voice* Yes, my mother gives me a curfew of 8pm people. She doesn't trust me enough. Cause I LOVE drinking, I go pubbing and have had 16 abortions so far. Also, she probably thinks you both are a bad influence on me.
Mum : Enough Ashvini *blushes*
Ash : And I'm getting a chastity belt for my 21st too =D
Cousins : *speechless*
Cousin's mom : *laughs*
Ash : Don't laugh. She's serious.
Mum : Ashvini, enough.
Ash : Since you read The Secret, I'm gonna wish I had a more outgoing mother like you aunty. It might come true if I concentrate hard enough. Like that book says. Mum believes in it anyway.
Cousin's mum : Well 8pm is a bit odd for a 21 yr old.
Ash : Nah it's fine. Remember, sex is a bad bad baaaad thing.
Mum : Ashvini, ENOUGH.
Ash : Ok. But I really want a chastity belt. Every Victorian-aged family should have one. Really. I think they're kinky. *serious face*
The rest of them save Mum : *explode into peals of laughter while Mum gets up and walks away*

I'm so mean.
And you know what?

I don't fucking give a damn =D

Social call for next Friday

2008-01-20T01:47:00.000+08:00

Ok, SAPE NAK KELUAR LEH-PAK JUMAAT INI?

*Applicable from morning till evening only. I have an English drama to attend in the evening.

And for those whose Malay Language sucks...

WHOEVER WHO WANTS TO MEET UP, I'M FREE THIS FRIDAY AND I NEED SOME ENTERTAINMENT. Times Square, Sunway Lagoon or just a movie - I want to watch that new Johnny Depp movie by the way - PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE TAKE ME OUT CAUSE I NEED TO GET OUTTA THE HOUSE BEFORE I GET BACK TO HOUSE ARREST.

*whines*

Alright, the hit list would be:

Esther
Prav
Andrew + Heva
Philee
Jo
Justin and James
Anusha
Screw

Alright there are some names not mentioned and if you're one of em, it's because 1. I can't meet you now cause you're not here 2. I can't remember who it was and 3. I perhaps just don't wanna meet you and you can then ask me why if I give you such number.

*big grin*

So yeah. Call me! =D

My Loooong Day

2008-01-17T02:09:00.000+08:00

My day started off with a good old welcome from Old Klang Road.

Traffic, 2 hours of sleep and a naggy Soft Uncle who woke up on the wrong side of the bed that morning. Tho Ash didn't even get to wake up. How can you wake up when you've barely slept?? So the morning consisted of a long drive to the hospital where I had to keep Tatha(grandad) company for the morning and afternoon.

Soft Uncle : Now that you've got holidays, make use of your time. Your Veenai teacher asks about you.
Ash : Cause I rocked that class.
Soft Uncle : Why dontchu finish the classes?
Ash : Because I'm DONE. I can compose songs and it doesn't get better than THAT.
Soft Uncle : But there's no forced practise.
Ash : Why should any instrument be FORCED?
Soft Uncle : You have a million reasons for everything.
Ash : It's called Logic.
Soft Uncle : You never listen.
Ash : Is it just me, or did you wake up on the wrong side of bed this morning? Or does being bald, in severe need of reading glasses and 40 plus do this to you?
Soft Uncle : I'm not bald.
Ash : I've got a reflective picture of your head somewhere on my laptop.
Soft Uncle : I'm NOT bald.
Ash : Ok then, you're BALDING.
Soft Uncle : There's a HUGE difference between bald and balding. Get it right next time.
Ash : Someone just can't let go eh?
Soft Uncle : *grunts*

=D

Then I discovered that camwhoring was genetic! =D

So I kept Tatha amused by telling him stories about the Adorable Medha, how Amachi (grandmum) got all flustered this morning and the last and made Aunty Mani break the coconut for Ponggal prayers although it's supposed to be done by a male in the household. He laughed quite a bit, and looked a lot healthier too. I'm glad.

This is how Tatha dearest reads the newspapers. He's actually reading aloud in this awfully thickly accented telly newsreader accent.

I have no idea why he does it really.

After an incredibly good lunch of homemade Char Kuey Teow (Aunty Thaya makes the best, honest. Beats any Penang stall I've ever eaten in and yes even Ah Leng's kuey teow, pre-meds!)

That got Tatha all nice and contented =D

What did I say about camwhoring again? Ah yes. Genetic. Hee.

So then we had to go this singing occasion that my mum and aunt were taking part in on occasion of it being Ponggal yesterday. Needless to say, shots of my mum and aunt are not the primary focus here but this adorable lil critter here instead!

Me wants one some day... :)

It was also Shibs birthday today. Someone said we looked scarily alike so we decided to give it a test.

Oh boy.

The rest that follow are what I had for dinner. I didn't eat much save two pieces of fried squid with one unfinished. We went to our favourite place, Strawberry Fields Cafe kat PJ , hee. And YET, I STILL couldn't eat -_- and got bored while the others ate so Dhivs captured the next shot.

Yes. All that food and I still couldn't eat.

Something's majorly wrong with me. It's like an apocalypse is about to take place.

I came home, to the most understanding partner I could ever possibly get *hugs Emperor Insanity* and wished that someone had already invented a teleporter so I could summon him over in a jiffy. 14000 miles over. Bed, Emperor, maybe a massage? *bliss* Haha!

Anyhoo, that concludes today's looooong day.

Exhausted is me.
Bed I see.
Whee.

*jumps onto bed and dies*

I am NOT puking. I am NOT puking.

2008-01-15T15:42:00.000+08:00

Yes, in vain attempts to distract myself from the reality of said title, I am narrating my mundane daily endeavours.

Today's ironically, also, the mark of four months of being with Emperor Insanity *silly grin*. I shall blog more about that later when I'm feeling less nauseas and sink back into my mushy lovey-dovey mode that I was quite into when at the hospital -don't ask- that evaporated when the first puking session came about.

My nutjob sent me this card that had be collapsing into a fit of laughter when I read it.

Then I chanced Facebook.

But as always I get extremely put off by the accumulation of 205 requests on my home page. There are just TOO many aps on it and so, all I managed to do was give my dearest cuz Sham a few nicknames and hold hands with Emperor Insanity. And change my status message. Which pretty much revels in how I felt after having lunch.

I shall blog a bit more later, after a well-deserved rest and less nausea.

And no, I'm not pregnant.

Update time

2008-01-14T20:11:00.000+08:00

Alright, I figured a blog post would be the best way to settle things. Lots people been asking me what I'm up to, where I'm at, when we can meet up, how's things etc. I can't answer all texts and I'm not always in front of my laptop altho I leave it online to take messages from MSN. And my YM doesn't work cause some idiot at my uncle's office toggled with my computer to shift all programmes to another laptop and ended up NOT doing it cause my uncle said to not give me that laptop at the last minute because he was saving it for a staff member. No worries there, just that I wished the technician never toggled with it in the first place.

Now people, let me tell you a bit MORE about my family as they are the reason why I can't really be myself. At all.

My family's full of conservative and superficial people. The kind that believe an Indian girl should only stay at home, should not go out at all even if it is just to catch a movie or hang with her friends. Which is really quite a pain for me cause I have a huge group of friends from all over. And I have lotsa guy friends. Another bane for them. They don't like it. But then again, I've always been more of a tomboy rather than a feminine female.

My sponsors haven't kicked in funds just yet and there's a good chance I'm getting off the scholarship. My grandmum's confiscated my ATM card and as such I'm only getting 50 ringgit a WEEK. Yes, you heard that right. Even my sponsors pay me more than that. And if I want to double that to a 100 a week, I have to lose enough weight to hit a weight of 60kgs. I've lost two already. But that's because I'm sick and I haven't eaten in 2 days. Yes, my family doesn't like me the way I am, or how I look, so to get more cash, I have to change the way I look. Heh.

If I stay at home and stay online the whole time, they call me self-absorbed. But I won't let them control that. This is my only window to sanity.

So my atm card's gone (limited supply of cash) and I can't go out. If I do, there's some noise. At any rate, I don't really feel quite like going out. I'm kinda weak with the lack of food and I need to lose to double the amount of cash I'm currently getting.

Apart from that, my grandad's sick. And I need to be on the standby, either to guard the house or do hospital duty by accompanying him there. He's had a heart attack and the doctor in charge wants to have a family discussion about his condition. Because apparently, the stent placed in his heart from the last op has collapsed. And they need to do another op to guarantee longer survival. But an op in his condition is deadly. So yeah...more stuff to think about right there.

At any rate people, I miss you guys a lot. I DO want to spend time with you all but I just can't. Not now. If you guys really wanna talk etc gimme a buzz, call, send messages over MSN or feel free to drop by my place whenever I'm in of course.

Tis a trying time now.

Ye Gods

2008-01-11T23:05:00.000+08:00

I have discovered a wondrous site. Oh yes. Well, discovered it ages ago yet only NOW do I have the time to completely devour it. Every single itty bitty bit. Yum.

It's hee-lah-ree-us. *falls off chair laughing* I will post the article up from it in a bit. For now, I shall blog about what I was distracted from earlier.

And yes, I've had nothing much to do today.

Religion.

*Disclaimer : I don't have proof, these are just theories. I'm not as well-read as some are, I just browse through pages on the net, the Gita, random stuff here and there and well, these are just my speculations and theories on all the thoughts collected.

It's funny how simple logic defies us at times. If anyone were to ask me what I was 2 years ago, I'd say I wasn't sure. And I wasn't. I didn't know what the hell I was. I sure as hell didn't believe in heaven or hell -no pun intended- and as for God being all benevolent and kind, it just made no sense at all. Nor did I believe in the Devil. Then again, a friend pointed out something to me just yesterday. I can't remember who it was, Screw? Wonderboy? Either one of them satanic beings. Anyhoo, it makes perfect sense. If you were to write about your enemy, would you deem him bad or good?

So - hypothetically speaking - God writes about the Devil being bad. But how do we REALLY know?

How do we really know ANYTHING?

Like, even in the belief of the very CONCEPT of a creator. It's redundant there itself. If you BELIEVE some higher being created you, every bit of you, and everything there is - and since you personify him so much, one can only assume when learning about Him at first, that he's a being - then who created THIS being? He can't have just popped out of nowhere now, no?

And it's like that game of Broken Telephone. MEN wrote the Bible, the Gita, the Mahabarata. Why is EVERYTHING so personified? Because MEN wrote it. Men who want to present what they WANT to see. Have masses of people actually seen this, God? And why is he not present? No one's actually seen God or the Devil. Chances are, your will in having Faith is a lot more stronger than you actually truly believing deep down inside, that He exists. This, omnipotent Being.

Here's a situation we shall look at.

Let's just say, someone you know, very well, came up to you and said "I spoke to God today. And guess what, He spoke back,"
How would YOU react? What would you think of this person? Instantly?
Come on people, first reactions. Be honest. Yes, even you holy biblical God-fearing Christians.

#~C-r-a-z-y. Woohoo!~#

If someone came to you and said they were hearing voices and that God was speaking to them, I'd call the psych ward pronto. Schizophrenia. It's a condition. People here things, and BELIEVE people are talking to them. Hallucinations and what not.

Think about it, who the hell was with Prophet Mohd when he got his messages from Allah?

Now, I don't mean to condemn religions from all around the world. You're entitled to believe what you want. But this is a pretty interesting theory. What IF, just what IF, these prophets were schizophrenic? The situation back then in these civilisations were manic. People were burying babies alive in Arab, drinking, random sex, (pretty much like today minus the burial of babies alive) and well, apparently life was chaotic back then. Wouldn't it just be so incredibly fitting for a Messiah to come sailing through? I shall save you all now! Allah has instructed me!

And there are PLENTY of these prophets. And their popularity grows from how WELL they spread the word of God or His campaign. It becomes a freaking popularity contest.

Oh well, kudos to Mohd. If he ever was schizo, he was pretty darn intelligent. "Read and you will see the light!"

Rock on dude. Just, go easy on the bombs yea? Jihad's getting real old. *

I have NOTHING against religions. Religions set standards. They provide us with ways and guides to lead our lives. Obviously, for people who need them. To me, if you're a good person, regardless of religion, you're obviously doin' something right. What defines good and bad?

Well, you do.

There has to be a definite standard, naturally. But what I can't stand is the lack of free-thinking. Or the lack of not wanting to question. To seek more answers. You don't just accept things. You THINK. I find people who don't think intellectually frustrating. This "God" gave you a brain, dumbass, use it.

So come on, throw the question at me.

Ash, you said you believe in God. But this contradicts it all!

Gee, it does, doesn't it?
Let me redefine what I think God is.
A big blue ball of energy.
Why blue?
I like blue.

Yeah, that's what I think God is. Energy. Not a Him/Her. 'God' is just a word. And I define God to be as Energy. Chi. The thing that makes your light bulbs go on ala "Let there be light!"

So that makes me a Hindu. Old skool style.

What point am I trying to make here? Well, that I'm a Hindu for one, and not one who holds all that deity stuff to heart - it's just fun to know, like a bedtime story, for the Gods are personified there as well - and to get to those belief-imposing people out there that you should just back off and lead your own faiths without smothering other people with it in the face because we all have the right to believe what we want. Yes, even if it means eternal death in Hell with the Devil. God can't be that dim to send the world's best, moralistic person to Hell just cause he's not Christian enough to come to Heaven.

Alright, I'm done being blasphemic for the day. Shoot your arrows at me via comments.

Random Rant

2008-01-11T17:58:00.000+08:00

I was GOING to blog about religion, racism and observations I have made of people in general. But then something happened to totally throw my mind off it.

Soft Uncle : Go resume your veenai classes now that you've got so much free time
Ash : I have free time because I'm not allowed to do what I want to do
Soft Uncle : So resume your veenai classes.
Ash : I don't want to
Soft Uncle : Why not?
Ash : Because that's not what I'M interested in.
Soft Uncle : It's a waste of what you've learnt.
Ash : You see, you go for classes when you DON'T know how to play it. When you know, it's a different matter entirely.
Soft Uncle : And you know?
Ash : I can MAKE my own songs. Compose my own songs. It doesn't get better than that.
Soft Uncle : What about tennis, badminton?
Ash : I don't do sports. How can I do something I don't like?
Soft Uncle : Exercise then.
Ash : When everyone's quit bugging me about it, I will
Soft Uncle : You're a real brat
Ash : I know

I love irking them
=D

The Wishlist

2008-01-11T00:39:00.000+08:00

To live on my own
To have libraries of books - knowledge fascinates me
To have a super-duper canggih laptop (that has no missing letter 'b' on the fcking keyboard)
World peace?
A cat. A nice furry bushy-tailed cat that is more intelligent than any dumb person living in my household.

Tada!

2008-01-09T23:42:00.000+08:00

After much toggling with the second one...
I give you...

The Coconut Chronicles : Edition 3.1

Toggling around with layouts and skins provides SUCH a good distraction in dealing with the numskulls at home. Sigh.

Decisions decisions, oh boy!

2008-01-09T17:03:00.000+08:00

Fortunately, they're not of the life-altering kind =P

Wanted to put up pics of the shopping I did yesterday but it was taking so long to add frames to the pictures so I gave up on streamass's dumbass connection and proceeded instead to toggling and searching for new templates. Yes, I'm done with simple! I want something bigger, not as fancy but yeah, less simpler. Also, since you people never comment, I'm taking off the chatbox soon. Nyeh! *sticks out tongue at you all* So COMMENT from now on and don't message me on MSN to tell me you read something and ask me about it. The comments feature is THERE for a REASON.

-_-

Anyway, here's the two layouts I'm deciding between.

Just so you lot know, I've already toggled with the second one. And since I love dark colours a lot, and like the colour combos of blue and black, I changed the background on the white one to black. Made some font adjustments, took off the third column and voila. And so another skin is born which I have yet to use. Will probably upload it later once I'm done backing up all my changes. It takes a whole damn day to make a template *phew*

jumps up and down

2008-01-07T18:55:00.000+08:00

Ok ok ok, I'm a lil too excited but yeah, sue me. I just discovered that one can get their own website for a very cheap price. With tabs for proper browsing, like a home page, a profile page, you know, separate pages on the website, like a proper professional web page *throws confetti*

But then again, there's always a damned catch.

Alright, I don't look forward to my birthdays. Because there's ALWAYS room for disappointment on such days. Like, the celebration, how some people forget, and yes, I make the mistake of expecting. So that's why, I usually hate birthdays and wish they'd just, pass. Only time I ever had a surprise party was when my ex did it -_- with HIS friends -_-

The irony.

AT ANY RATE, I THEN get people asking me about what I want and that makes me feel bad about it because they pester me and I feel bad for telling them but then they get me something else and it's all wrong because I damn well don't like it and end up just keeping it as a token or for the sake of "it's the thought that counts"

Oh so mean you are, Ash.

ANYHOO, I thought about it. And I had this really impossible list thought up.

A laptop - YES YOU RICH BUGGERS OUT THERE. I WANT A DAMNED LAPTOP THAT HAS NO MISSING LETTER 'B' KEY. And a LIGHT one too.
A place of my own
Wireless internet
Formal wear for uni

Then I realised, that I could somehow get the laptop by showing how dilapidated mine is to the rich folks here. A place my own, well even if I got it, I'd have to start a war to just move out. Wireless internet I can get now, on my own. Formal wear, well my mum can handle that.

What I really really can't get, at all, is a domain of my own for my blog.

Like a decent web page on blogspot. It only costs 10USD per year and I can afford it but I can't buy it. Why, you ask?

Because...you have to use a damned credit card.

And I can't ask my mum to pay for me and pay her back then cause THEN she'd KNOW of the blog. And it is incredibly vital the blog stays private and away from all the prying eyes of my ridiculous family. It is the only way I breathe free air.

So yes, I can afford it, but I can't get it.

Cause I have no damned credit card.

*throws a tantrum and prays for a miracle*

I got my hands on a miracle

2008-01-04T21:50:00.000+08:00

Well I've got 7 weeks of holidays till uni starts. And why is that?

Because I'm shifting university to IMU. Yeaps, it's a done deal now. It may not be what I want for the now, but I'm making this decision for the future. It's really hard to make a decision such as this because you want so badly to give in to the now. But later on, and me knowing myself, well the world's a bigger place than Malaysia and I know for sure, I don't wanna call myself a citizen of a country that practises double standards nor am I patient enough to wait for a reformation. And although I want things to change, I doubt my current predicaments would let me be the one to trigger a change. Also, I do not want to be in such a position to do so. I want to enjoy my life to, thank you.

In short, I'm not passionate enough to devote my life to a reformation. But I want a change and better opportunities. This is the only way to see my career in medicine through.

In making this decision, I thought out many things. What I thought of medicine, what I expected from myself, where I wanted to go with it, what I wanted to do with my life apart from medicine. And I realised just how much I wanted to live away from home, abroad, with my own life. IMU could help me realise that. As for university credibility, I don't doubt PMC's over IMU's or vice versa. Ireland is a place I'd love to live in even, tho I don't think permanently. It isn't practical enough. Funds, family, why would I wanna isolate myself so far away from friends and family when I can get opportunity in a country nearby? And it's not like I've not been to Ireland. I have.

Funds were also a factor. I need to make money. I want my own place, my own life. I don't intend of living with family upon graduating. Even if it means more money. I want to start a life of my own and I need the funds for it. This would be a good way of doing such. Doctors make quite a bit in Australia/New Zealand.

What I knew for sure was that I did not want was to come back, with high hopes of doing medicine and coming back here to transform into the many doctors I've met who tell me to get out of the country while I still can. These are well accomplished doctors, with degrees from all over who made a mistake of coming back to see people underqualified in comparison to them, championing over them in medical specialities.

Also, as much as I complain about my family, I have this sense of duty to them. I can't leave them completely or stay cut off. My siblings will need me. Finance wise. And I owe my grandparents a lot. I need to make sure my evil uncle is well taken care of - yes, as much as I complain, family is still family. They may never understand me but I guess the key is to stop expecting them to. I do wanna be away with my own family. But I wanna make sure that the old family's alright as well.

As such, Australia and New Zealand, seem the most practical. I'd most probably live far away enough for em to not bug me but near enough that I can look out for them. In my own 'dettached' way, if that makes any sense.

But the term family, is such a subjective word. And I do think, coming from my background, experience and all, that what I say on the subject holds quite a lot of credibility.

I don't have a dad. I never did. I've had father-like figures, pseudo-dads. But never a dad. And as brattish as it sounds, for someone who has her uncles and aunts all interested in her well-being, I miss it. I'd like a proper father. A proper mum. Proper siblings. What I have are half siblings, close cousins. Grandparents whose guilt from a marriage poorly arranged made them turn to take me in, a by-product of that sour union. I'd like a father who doesn't impose his beliefs on me. A father, a friend, a confidante.

I am lucky that I actually have family. And I'm not orphaned to make my own living out on the streets. I'm going to university to do medicine, I have an uncle -who wants so much to be my father- and grandparents who are constantly worried about me.

As such, I bring these people together.

But at the same time, it ain't a meadow of daisies either.

Having no certain family yet belonging to one teaches you independence despite shelter. I see everything that goes around me, all the misunderstandings. I take no sides and I try to be fair to all. No alleigainces

There are a lot of other issues to deal with. Though in the long run, I think it just helps me to be a better person. I whine, groan, bitch and complain. But hey, we all need to let it out. And I do it on my blog and well, Emperor Insanity probably gets the biggest dose of all this, 'letting out' rants (sorry hun!)

Guess that's all for now. I just wanna get this bit out. I'll blog more later.

All's not well in Ashyville

2008-01-04T01:05:00.000+08:00

I'm back in Malaysia.
I'm tired. And I don't know what to do.
Just...so many things. I wouldn't know where to start. And I just feel so spent. My life is headed some place, I just hope it's where I want it to go. Things seem so different now and everything that could go wrong just has.

Life...is just so dangerous. Things could just go wrong in an instant. Or you could just stay stuck in a rut for a very long time. People can be so unsupportive, always on your case. Picking at every detail, no regard for how you feel.

I just wish, that people would just leave me be. I don't think I'll come out of my room to interact with people as much as I can help it.

Over and out.

The Ocean

2007-12-19T18:02:00.000+08:00

Listen to this song. And read it's lyrics. It's really sad.
It's meant for you.
And you know who you are.

by The Bravery

I climbed up a mountain, and looked off the edge
And all of the lives that I never have led
Is one where I stayed with you, across the sea
I wonder do you still think of me
I carry your image always in my head
Folded and yellowed and torn at the edge
And I've look upon it for so many years
Slowly I'm loosing your face

[chorus:]
Oh the ocean rows us away, away, away
The ocean rows us away

Sixes and sevens we live on jet planes
And so many faces I don't know the names
So many friends now and none of them mine
Forgotten as soon as we meet
All of these moments are lost in time
Your caught on my head like a thorn on a vine
To forever torment me that I wonder why
Do I wish I've never known you at all

[chorus x2]
Oh the ocean rows us away, away, away
The ocean rows us away

The sun and the moon
An ocean of air
So many voices
But nothing is there
The ghost of you asking me why
Why did I leave

[chorus]
Oh the ocean rows us away, away, away
The ocean rows us away

Oh the ocean rows us away away away
And I loose your hand through the waves

It's sad that people judge others by the colour of their skin, their backgrounds, the way they look. It's even more depressing when you find out that they make excuses for their bigotry because they know they're wrong. But it's agony when you're related to them and it's quite a bitter thing to call them family.

I'm gonna pray for you.

For us too but mainly for you.

So that one fine day, you stand up despite it hurting and you boldly hold your head up and walk out that door. You deserve much more than this.

I only hope you know that too.

Life's a bitch

2007-12-19T12:16:00.000+08:00

Yes, shouldn't that be enough to tell ya that I'm depressed AGAIN?
Heh.

I leave to India on the 21st, at 8.05pm with a HUGE group of 21 people.
I have no means of contacting my boyfriend even if I wanted to. Well, no way of him replying anyway. Can't text, can't call. And his internet's been cut off. I have no idea when will be the next I hear from him. Yes, it looks bleak.

Ah life. It's fucked up.

Pickle anyone?

2007-12-17T21:36:00.000+08:00

I wasn't poking fun...

...

Ok, weird moment over =D

So yeah, here it goes...

I got the offer to IMU. Pretty weird considering that my grades aren't all too hot this time around. And it was just that and my interview. And my certs were damaged *headdesk*. In a way, I'm feeling kinda accomplished, seeing that with all that, plus semester results and stuff and probably how I fared in the interview - I had to put on this good doctor persona, haha - and yeah, it's like "Yay! A medical uni took me in! Now what??"

The thing about IMU is that, the prospect of starting first year med in February instead of next September is very tantalising. Also, it's FREAKIN near to home, like a five-minute drive. I get to be with Prav and Sir Doink, good close friends I'm already very close to and familiar with. I get to do my last bit abroad...No coming back to Malaysia. I get to live abroad sooner than planned. And that's REALLY tempting me. Coming back here would ensnare me with the internship I have to do here. It's more of the long-term thing than anything. Education wise, I get to study in Australia or New Zealand. If I'm not happy with those, I get to pick Scotland or England or maybe even US - tho the last one would have the folks all upset with the idea of me being so far away tho the course is shorter there as well. Ireland's in there as well, but not Dublin, Galway I think.

So long-term wise, IMU is a much better plan...Career-wise.
And life-wise as well.

But gosh..PMC has everything I like otherwise. I've always wanted to be in Ireland ever since I went there. For reasons non-educational tho. The culture, the life, the literature, the universities, the people...The classmates here are amazing. I've gotten settled in already. I love the lecturers, the university, the prospect of Ireland next year. Everything's amazing, living away from home, the friends, the food, everything really.

Speaking of which...

I'm really missing a few people. Yes, yes, I'm gonna get mushy again. Here's special mention to these dolts, haha!

Yes you dolts. I miss you people. A lot.

Come back!!!! *cries* Your weirdness, er, completes me? *gags*

This is just me running out of catchy phrases and quirky wisecracks. Also, I'm extremely hyper today.

Hi. I'm Ash.

Littlest things

2007-12-17T00:35:00.000+08:00

I LOVE this song.

by Lily Allen

Sometimes I find myself sittin' back and reminiscing
Especially when I have to watch other people kissin'
And I remember when you started callin' me your miss's
All the play fightin', all the flirtatious disses
I'd tell you sad stories about my childhood
I don't know why I trusted you but I knew that I could
We'd spend the whole weekend lying in our own dirt
I was just so happy in your boxers and your t-shirt

Chorus
Dreams, Dreams
Of when we had just started things
Dreams of you and me
It seems, It seems
That I can't shake those memories
I wonder if you have the same dreams too.

The littlest things that take me there
I know it sounds lame but its so true
I know its not right, but it seems unfair
the things are reminding me of you
Sometimes I wish we could just pretend
Even if for only one weekend
So come on, Tell me
Is this the end?

Drinkin' tea in bed
Watching DVD's
When I discovered all your dirty grotty magazines
You take me out shopping and all we'd buy is trainers
As if we ever needed anything to entertain us
the first time that you introduced me to your friends
and you could tell that I was nervous, so you held my hand
when I was feeling down, you made that face you do
no one in the world who could replace you

Chorus
Dreams, Dreams
Of when we had just started things
Dreams of me and you
It seems, It seems
That I can't shake those memories
I wonder if you feel the same way too

The littlest things that take me there
I know it sounds lame but its so true
I know its not right, but it seems unfair
the things are reminding me of you
Sometimes I wish we could just pretend
Even if for only one weekend
So come on, Tell me
Is this the end?

Sun Comes Up

2007-12-16T19:18:00.000+08:00

I watched THIS yesterday

And despite me cowering behind my fingers - it was SCARY alright?! - I loved it.
Then again, I love anything with Will Smith in it *swoons*
But this was seriously good. And the movie finished late so as we were driving back, the streets seemed pretty desolate and I was thinking "If only a zombie came out now..."

But seriously, imagine if the entire world died out. And IT'S WILL SMITH!!!

He beats McDreamy. By leaps and bounds *swoons again*

And I just liked the idea. It was extremely scary, especially that bit where he goes into this empty warehouse-like place and looks for his dog, Sam. And then he sees the mutants all huddled up and that scene where Sam's hiding under the desk staring at something behind him and it leaps out and gets him...

Haha, even Mo jerked at that. *grins*

But yeah, and the fact that he had to stay locked in the entire time at night, shut his windows and all. And then how they traced him back to his house - gods, that was scary. It was so cool all this while how he was living in secret. And then how he takes out the entire zombie lot by blasting a grenade...Oh man...I nearly wanted to cry. WILL SMITH DIES!!!

*headdesk* Yes yes, I'm a hardcore fan.

And then I thought about that werewolf dream I had ages ago and it seemed so similar. But these zombies were zombies with vampire-like qualities, ie, no UV light. The movie was VERY well taken, the way his past catches up with him in glimpses. You have to put it together as the movie goes on. Loved it tho Mo was disappointed with the way it ended.

It's based on a BOOK for crying out loud!!!

*happy sigh*

So contented is me. And it's not cause Will Smith did this one scene pulling himself up doin' chin ups without a shirt *smug*

*hides from Chris*

That's Life

2007-12-15T04:49:00.000+08:00




by Michael Buble


That's life
That's what all the people say
You're riding high in April
You're shot down in May
I know I'm gonna change that tune
When I'm back on top in June

I say that's life
& as funny as it may seem
Some people get their kicks
Stompin' on your dreams
But I don't let it, let it get me down
'Cause this fine ol' world keeps spinning 'round

I've been a puppet, a pauper, a pirate,
A poet, a pawn & a king
I've been up & down & over & out
But I know one thing
Each time I find myself, flat on this face
I pick myself up & get back in the race

That's life
I can't deny it
I thought of quitting, baby
This heart wasn't gonna buy it
And if I didn't think it was worth one single try
I'd jump right on a big bird & then I'd fly

I've been a puppet, a pauper, a pirate,
A poet, a pawn & a king
I've been up & down & over & out
And I know one thing
Each time I find myself flat on my face
I pick myself up & get back in the race

That's life
That's life & I can't deny it
Many times I thought of cutting out
But my heart won't buy it
But if there's nothing shakin' come this here July
I'm gonna roll
I'm gonna roll
I'm gonna roll myself up in a big ball & die
Can't deny it
That's life

From far and wide

2007-12-14T19:14:00.000+08:00

Interesting bit of info I came across while clicking on that world map thingy I have at the bottom of this page - yes, if one actually bothers to scroll down, one will discover such an amazing map at the bottom of this page, oh yes. Of where my readers come from, oh yes indeed.

And this is what I got:

Location	Time
Manila, Philippines	Fri, 14 Dec 2007 03:46:19 -0600
Motta Visconti, Italy	Fri, 14 Dec 2007 03:01:55 -0600
Jakarta, Indonesia	Fri, 14 Dec 2007 01:12:16 -0600
Jakarta, Indonesia	Fri, 14 Dec 2007 00:46:15 -0600
Kepun Kopi, Malaysia	Thu, 13 Dec 2007 23:42:13 -0600
Kampong Sira Badak, Malaysia	Thu, 13 Dec 2007 22:13:21 -0600
Val D'Or, Malaysia	Thu, 13 Dec 2007 19:41:01 -0600
Perai, Malaysia	Thu, 13 Dec 2007 18:20:24 -0600
Brooklyn, NY, United States	Thu, 13 Dec 2007 16:31:07 -0600
Kiel, Germany	Thu, 13 Dec 2007 15:56:35 -0600
Madrid, Spain	Thu, 13 Dec 2007 14:45:55 -0600
El Peumo, Chile	Thu, 13 Dec 2007 13:38:18 -0600
, Gibraltar	Thu, 13 Dec 2007 12:38:20 -0600
Timisoara, Romania	Thu, 13 Dec 2007 12:25:18 -0600
Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia	Thu, 13 Dec 2007 08:43:40 -0600
Marks, MS, United States	Thu, 13 Dec 2007 08:17:45 -0600
Petaling Jaya, Malaysia	Thu, 13 Dec 2007 08:09:06 -0600
Salak South New Village, Malaysia	Thu, 13 Dec 2007 07:27:15 -0600
Melbourne, Australia	Thu, 13 Dec 2007 06:54:19 -0600
, Singapore	Thu, 13 Dec 2007 05:57:35 -0600

I can account for a FEW places. The ones highlighted in blue.

As for the REST??

Good gods, I don't know anyone in GERMANY. Or Romania. Or some odd place called Val D'or which supposedly exists in Malaysia and which I have never heard of.

So people. Oh strange ones from far and wide, if you read, why not make yourselves known? I know I have faithful ones from Italy and Indon. But the rest? By gods, what the hell brings you here??!

Feel free to read on though. At ye own risks.

Jeff Dunham

2007-12-14T19:02:00.000+08:00

Oh man, I'm so addicted to this guy and his puppets. He's good and well, probably the ventriloquist-version of Russell Peters minus the Asian exposure I suppose. Been watching each video, back to back. Extremely talented too. He's got a few puppets too, Achmed, Walter, Jose, Peanut and Melvin. Watch this people!

Hilarious...

By gods

2007-12-14T13:46:00.000+08:00

What the hell is this fucking country coming to?

More details here > HINDRAF

Good gods...

2007-12-14T02:29:00.000+08:00

I have doubts, fears. I think I'm officially panicking.

I refused to look at slides today. I just did one lecture and half of the second one before I gave up completely.
Talked to Wonderboy. Watched a few funny movies, some Jeff Dunham shows, the Office. My body still aches.

I don't wanna go home.
I DON'T wanna do work.
I'm having doubts about a few things.
I'm feeling so nauseas.

I don't think I can handle another big change in my life. I just wanna be left at peace. And somehow get my shit together to study enough for finals. There's muscles, spin states, cytochromes and some crap in physics to plough through as well. More worried about Bio's worm and fungi life cycles...

And then that stupid assignment.

And I'm craving for a long period of lethargy *cries*

La Tortura

2007-12-13T19:38:00.000+08:00

Ok, so I spent most of the day setting my layout back to a simpler design. Yes, I spent lotsa time with the last one but this one uses blogger's widget templates. It's MUCH easier to manipulate, my pictures don't come out funny and yeah, it's dark. Like my skin and most of my moods these days. Don't ask. Plus the playlist and world map are back up again. Whee.

My body feels like a ton of bricks have fallen on it and each time I scream ouch, another heavier, bigger, sharper one falls on that exact spot that caused the 'ouch'.

Last week, I missed three days of class due to family idiocrasy.
This week, I missed two due to body idiocrasy.
And there's lab tomorrow. Apparently, classes from 9.30-12 and lab from 2-5.
A full day.

Then there's all that shit about the GI tract to read.

And that trip I'm really dreading. I don't wanna spend 10 fucking days with family. I DON'T wanna hear them go on about my weight, my grades, my failures and everything of what I lack, or do, or believe. I do NOT wanna spend time with Uncle Evil and his fellow cronies. Nor do I wanna see people who monitor what I eat, for god's sake.

These are people who have no respect for your privacy, your integrity or your beliefs. They're hypocrites, backstabbers and people I can never trust yet grew up with.

It's funny, that when I reflect back, a friend once asked me how I turned out to be so different. The only thing that I can somehow think that would come remotely close to that would be that I always never did believe or trust anyone except myself. The closest I've ever gotten to trusting anyone is the person I'm with - so appreciate that you! *pokes Emperor Insanity in the chest* - and apart from that, I NEVER trust anyone. I make exceptions with people I've grown up with - nods at Jakun - and some that trust me with their most deepest and darkest secrets - nods at Sir Doink - and bitter, cynical, depressed ones - nods at Wonderboy -

I'm pretty much guarded with the rest.

I've been listening to depressing piano solos throughout the day by Philip Glass. He's pretty good. Enjoy.

Are you alive?

2007-12-13T18:33:00.000+08:00

The horoscope guy was right about one thing.
This really isn't all THAT good a year.

One minor not good thing for example : I've gotten sick THRICE in a time span of...3 and a half months.

I have the shittiest immune system, I swear.

Call me irresponsible

2007-12-11T18:39:00.000+08:00

Yes. I should be studying. I've wasted the whole day not doing such. Don't ask me why, I just don't have the mood for it.

So I toggled with the blog layout again on the test blog. And I've decided I'm gonna switch to something simpler in a bit. I know, I've been changing layouts quite a bit. Decided to go back to being simple with less of a headache. Major headache today, lower torso feels like it's about to dettach itself from my body - imagine labour, gods.

Anyway

Here's the link to it -> New template

And NOW I shall attempt studying.

Heh.

Gettin' jiggy with it

2007-12-11T03:37:00.000+08:00

Just a quick note to say that I'm gonna be VERY busy till I get back from the India trip. The blog is already being updated pretty irregularly - for a blogger who used to blog about 2-3 times in a day about EVERYTHING in her life - and there have been SO many things I've been dying to blog about but just haven't had the time to sit down and do.

As it stands, I have :

One assignment on a case report on diabetes melitus
4 biochem tutorials left to finish
An email to write to the Irish ambassador to ask for money for PMC's medical conference in May
An ICH presentation due on...the 14th of January but there's no time to do it next week since I leave for KL AGAIN on the 20th.
Lecture slides to read - cisplatin, cytochromes, muscles, helminths, MORE worm life cycles as well as fungi

Ye gods...

Wish me luck.

*slices off throat*

Just when I'd given up dreaming

2007-12-11T03:23:00.000+08:00

On December 3rd, 2007 - I didn't note the time, unfortunately - I received my first parcel ever.

=)

And in it were delightful treasures that I'll keep for life, close to my heart.

A poem on laminated card
A CD of his favourite Christmas songs
A DVD of a movie I never got to watch - Hairspray!!!
A journal of my own
A cute handwritten letter - with such kiddy writing too *grins*

These lil tokens I received just made my day.

Thanks honey =)
*hugs Chris*

Bee-yotch

2007-12-06T18:17:00.000+08:00

That's what the internet is like back home.
And why am I back home, you ask?

To attend an interview for a university I don't have any intentions of getting into
To make a passport for a trip I never wanted to go for.

But wait, why else does Ash display immense signs of irritation?

She needs a new laptop
She has altogether missed 3 bio lectures, 2 chem lectures, 3 lectures in Human Systems 1 for both Medical Physics, Pharmaceutical Chem and Cellular Biology.
EVERYONE which encompasses all the Aussie relatives, are down for the holidays
Her finals are two weeks after the blasted India trip
She's going to be in India for the entire Christmas trip
She wants to blog about a delightful parcel she received two days ago - MY FIRST PARCEL!- but has no time to take pictures of it's contents and upload them onto blogger because to start with, this isn't even HER laptop, it's her cousin's she's using.
She's also extremely backward in class

On the plus side, she caught up with sleep!

And yet...

*whines*

Why did I wanna become a doctor again??

Way Back Into Love

2007-11-28T06:12:00.000+08:00

by Drew Barrymore and Hugh Grant





[Drew:] 
I've been living with a shadow over head 
I've been sleepin' with a cloud above my bed 
I've been lonely for so long 
Trapped in the past, I just cant seem to move on 

[Hugh:]
I've been hiding all my hopes and dreams away 
Just in case I ever need them again someday 
Ive been setting aside time, to clear a little space in the corners of my mind 

[chorus:]
All I want to do is find a way back into love 
I cant make it through without a way back into love 
ohh 

[Drew:] 
I've been watching but the stars refuse to shine 
Ive been searching but I just don't see the signs 
I know that its out there 
Theres got to be something for my soul somewhere 

[Hugh:] 
I've been looking for someone to shed some light 
Not just somebody to get me through the night 
I could use some direction, and I'm open to your suggestions 

[chrous:]
All I want to do is find a way back into love 
I cant make it through without a way back into love 
and If I open my heart again 
I guess I'm hopin' you'll be there for me in the end 

[Drew:]
There are moments when I don't know if its real 
or if anybody feels the way I feel 
I need inspiration, not just another negotiation 

[chorus:]
All I want to do is find a way back into love 
I cant make it through without a way back into love 
and If I open my heart to you 
I'm hopin' you'll show me what to do 
and if you help me to start again 
you know that I'll be there for you in the end

Wheeeeeeee!!!

2007-11-22T00:22:00.000+08:00

It's the night before exams yet I have a song playing on my player now - yes it's that addictive Sean Paul song - and I'm euphoric. Giddy somewhat. *grins*

A dear dear friend of mine is hitched. Wheeeeeeee! And he's happy! Which makes both of us!

I have no idea why I'm this happy. I guess it's because he's such a dear friend to me, been through a lot. Tho at the beginning of the convo, I was a lil depressed cause he reminded me of how rigid my folks are. Then some memories came into focus, gah. At any rate, now for the euphoric bit. He's finally settling down, moving on with life and making plans on asking her. So cute this is!

It's so cute what a guy does sometimes to get the girl. Another friend of mine brought flowers all the way in a tube and gave them to her when he met her at the station. Haha! And then took her out to dinner, asked her there as they were staring out the revolving restaurant's windows. Sweet...

Ash is such a gooey bit of sap right now. Forgive me.

But yeah, this totally made my day. Woot!

*throws confetti*

squeal

2007-11-20T16:14:00.000+08:00

Now I'm a fan of long tunic tops or dressy ones AND halters. And a jeans girl, through and through. I wear jeans for almost everything and hate the ones they have here, thanks to these darn child-bearing hips. So imagine my joy when darling dearest Aly shows me Just Jeans's website that has TONNES of clothes I like and might wanna get since here friend's coming over and might get some for her *faints*

Yes yes, it's amazing what can hit you in the midst of exams.

*big wide grin*

Now if only I had the cash...*cries*

Love, life

2007-11-19T00:46:00.000+08:00

It's at times during lazy exam stupors where you spend your entire day either reading, eating or sleeping when you get to think a lot. And I've been wanting to be by myself for a few days now. I mean I do wanna be with friends and all but after exams perhaps, when I can actually enjoy myself. Gotta suffer first. Not like I've finished my studying. Barely touched Bio *nervous*

Ok, no more nerd talk.

So due to all this lethargy, I've been thinking a lot. And reflecting on - of all things - my experiences in relationships. The bf-gf kind. And it's kinda sad to say that my first/last official one didn't go as well as it should have. When I say that, I mean, we didn't break up amicably. Not that I want to get back with the Jerk, gods no! I just don't like being at hate-terms with anyone I know, particularly someone I'd been with for nearly three years.

With me and Jerk, we started off for about a year as friends. At first I used to be a lil repulsed by the overwhelming mush thrown at me. It was funny cause I was terribly anti-mush at that moment. It was our form five year and I guess I was scholarship-driven. So I blocked out all emotion - yes, I can do that - for the whole year and then exams ended.

About a month after that, he asked me. And I said yes but get this - refused to give him my phone number. Yeah, Ash is weird. So all he had of me was my MSN add and he somehow got my number through a friend. Andrew, I think. But only after I said it was ok =P There's something wrong with me, I know.

The six months we had was full of the thrills a relationship brings. Tho by six months, they were gone. Ironically, that was also the time I met his folks. They were very nice people, tho, a dysfunctional family unit themselves. The Dad drank too much, was very irresponsible. Jerk turned out pretty much like him later on. But then there was the mum. She was a nice lady and all that but well, she had her own share of mistakes. One of them being having had an affair with her colleague at work, something the dad never forgets and always brings up in an argument. The mum would tell me stories about wanting to just pack up and leave. Jerk would get upset and want his mother to stay. There were times when I'd convince her to stay and there were times when I'd tell her to go off for a lil while. Honestly? Had I been in such a situation, I'd have just gone. Taking my kids with me.

But this odd family unit got close to me. Family functions, anything. I was always invited, they pretty much thought I was gonna be part of their lives some day. I learned the strangest things about people, the things your family normally hides from you, wanting you to never get influenced. And I was never influenced badly. Sure, I've become a lot more open. But I learned from these people, I see what never planning for a future with a family does to you, when you act solely on emotion, or when you take education lightly. You could be the nicest bunch of people to ever exist but if you don't get practical about things, they all go haywire. Such is the sad thing about life.

Anyway, 8 months down the road saw us having problems. But it didn't matter cause that's what happens right? Couples have their fights, their worries, their lil petty disagreements. Then money issues settled in. Or at least that's what it looked like then - twas just excuses and the tire of being in a committed relationship from Jerk's end and me not wanting things to change like that. We fought. A lot. Sometimes publicly. I remember an incident of him shouting in front of my college hostel. Kinda weird for someone who used to be so happy and jocular and carefree. Of course, despite all that, a simple 'sorry' or a hug and apology sorted things out. I didn't wanna give up. So I stayed.

A year later, things got bad. No calls, messages were rare. I started doing everything. When I spoke of splitting up, he'd beg for it not to be. Then he moved away from home. I thought things would be better but they got worse. I'd hear nothing unless I called. And if I didn't call, I'd get an interrogation. Money was low on my end but I stuck through, without realising that I was staying in just for those memories of the six months we had before.

We had a couple of breaks before finally cutting it off completely. I say cutting off because we don't talk anymore. We're not even friends. My exams were affected by him. I remember crying for days sometimes. But no one knew, I have a habit of not letting people know. Only a few people knew I was very upset with things. People like Jakun, Wonderboy. I couldn't tell Jakun much because I know how much she worries. Wonderboy was always there to shed reality. He told me to leave at the very beginning. Yes you, you're always right -_- *hands Wonderboy a cookie*

Sometime about 1.5 years ago - close to it anyway - we started the process of breaking up. The break-up happened proper sometime last year. But even then it stretched into this year, with calls and messages threatening me. He was seeing someone else while with me. And then got together with someone else entirely a week after being with me for three years. Funny part was, even after the girl found out through me, she stuck in with him. I'm guessing he fed her a different version. The other girl sent me the messages he sent her while I was with him. I grew more and more angry, more with myself for not being obvious to the signs. And I then heard later through friends that he never did quit smoking tho he told me he did. I always thought I smelt a faint cigarette smell on him when with him but I always shrugged it off as it being those hoodlum friends he had. That's how much I trusted him/was oblivious to, didn't wanna see it.

The break up ended completely when another dear friend, Blinky dearest, he called Jerk up all the way from Dubai and yelled at him, told him to bloody well leave me alone. Jerk stopped then. I guess only cowards can threaten women. Funny, all it took was a phone call to send that huge bumbling cantkeephispantson idiot into silence.

And then it ended. My 20th birthday came into focus. I kept myself with friends, family. Family was having it's issues too but the people at college were amazing. About two months later, I finally told someone else apart from Jakun and Wonderboy about it. Sir Doink came into the picture. We talked. And talked. And then the bond that kinda shriveled for a bit came back into motion and we grew really close. I'll admit, I fell again. And at some points, with interaction in college, it really felt like a relationship. There were times when I'd do stuff on my own and get reproachful words for not taking him along. It was as tho everything I did should have involved him.

He was and is a kind person who has been through a lot. His loyalty is unwaivering and he was always there whenever I needed it. He knew exactly what was going through my mind in dealing with problems, how I felt. He knew that despite everyone thinking that Ash never gets affected by anything bad around her, he knew that I did and that I am, very sensitive. He'd ask me in the midst of a noisy group of friends if everything was alright with me. I could never hide from him. I'm sure he knew how I felt about him too. He was my rock. Yeah, he called himself that too. My rock. And he prepared me for all the hard things to come in life. I do think, that had I not spent time with him, I'd have never been able to handle the results thing that came on later.

Why didn't it work out between us then, eh? Odd don't you think? We both knew how we felt, how close we were and how it really did seem like a relationship rather than just close friends. He made me report everything to him, I felt obliged to text him daily, grew worried if I didn't hear from him in a day. Certainly felt like a relationship, without the security.

Things weren't right on his end. He couldn't risk being in a relationship then and he couldn't give me the commitment I was looking for. He was gonna keep dragging, keep this weird relationship coming. He'd tell me about the girls who hit on him and tho I never showed it, I was inwardly upset. Then again, if someone else could make him feel better about himself, it didn't matter. That was how much I cared. I'd go as far as to say that I probably loved him a lot more than my ex. The emotional attachment was there. It needed growing but it grew after a solid friendship. At some point, he made it clear that being in a proper relationship with me, with consistent contact wasn't something he was looking for at that point. So me, always wanting to move on in life, gave up. I never was one to pine after someone who never really wanted me.

And when I did move on, he showed some resentment in who I had picked. It wasn't about the who, I'm sure. It was mainly the fact that I DID move on. He was bitter, he still doesn't talk very fondly of my other half and haha, I guess neither does the Insane one either ;)

What's funny is that I still care, I still do love him. But not that way anymore. It's crystal clear what it is now and he will be, a dear friend I hold close to my heart. We're not in the same universities anymore but we are in contact tho I hadn't heard from him in about 2 weeks. Just a few days ago I got a text asking me if things were ok. The convo got cut off there cause he had no credit to reply. Today, he texted again to make sure things were alright. Seeing all this and thinking back further, I know that this is probably one of the best examples of friendship I can get. I'm glad to have known him and he has taught me a lot and probably will for life.

And now, things are different =)

I'm happy with someone so amazing who is probably the best I could ever have or get. Everything I could ever ask for in a partner, someone I feel so completely secure with. It's been 2 months, 3 days ago, but I feel as tho I've known him my entire life. He's not a rock, hardened by experiences, but he's a pillar of support for me. He cares, he sees in me a lot of things I could never see in myself and probably still can't. I feel confident with him, he knows if I'm not ok by just looking at me and the best part is that he loves me regardless of how I look, how frustrated I am with myself. He handles my mood swings so well, I feel bad for getting that way. And he's probably the only person who can be with me when I wanna be alone or am experiencing my antisocial mood swings.

Having gone through all that emotional heartache in the past three years, I'd say they were worth it for this. I won't go as far as to say I'm pretty well experienced in love - I'm probably one of the most unromantic women you can find - tho I'm a sucker for it inside. But I've learned a lot from relationships. I've learned that a guy can say he wants to marry you - my Jerk ex did - and then sleep with someone else later on. Learned that people change and sometimes it's good to give up. Also learned that sometimes although you may be incredibly compatible with a person, it's not enough for a relationship and that you have to be incredibly open and honest with your other half to have anything work.

I'm not married yet and I don't intend to be anytime within these next six years. I suppose if I do get married to the person I'm with, I'd say I was successful in a bf-gf relationship. A husband-wife relationship is something that you can only evaluate having one of the pair pass away later on so yeah, can't evaluate that anytime soon. But I'm happy now. Oh-so very happy. Annoyingly happy, some might say. But a lil security goes a long way. 14000 miles even.

I'd say everything I've learned so far has been worth it for this. I'm not sure what else I'll learn in time to come, I sure as hell don't wanna go through what I did in the past three years after school. But well, life goes on eh? And if we don't learn a thing, we'd be morons.

People change, things change. But I'm gonna live for the moment.

And at the moment... I'm so very happy *nods*

*lifts wine glass up*

The facade

2007-11-14T16:37:00.001+08:00

Today didn't go as well as it should have. Exam fever has set in, so that all-familiar lethargy that hits has sunken in. I have odd sleeping hours again, sleeping away the late afternoons into evenings away. Waking up for a dinner, a shower and to get down to reading. Then I take a break when the Insane One wakes up and before he gets off to work. Then it's back to studying for me all the way till 12 or 1pm.

More sleep.

The beast stirs from slumber at 4am. More reading. Back to sleep around 6am all the way till 7.30am or 8 (if the bed is feeling particularly cool and comfy)

I LOVE my bed. Love it. I think I'm used to it now. Used to give me backaches a while ago. Now it's nice and soft. Must be all that weight.

Looking through bikini pictures with Auds made me green with envy. I have NEVER contemplated getting one thanks to the gargantuan belly I have, equivalent to that of pot bellies in contented males all over. And Malaysian women on the whole being very petite isn't a very encouraging factor. I tried a no-carb diet but then I gave myself some assurance by saying I'm allowed at least ONE carb meal a day when my fingers begun to shake. That was lunch. And today will be the last day I have carbs for dinner. Why? Grandma's chicken curry is still in the fridge, it needs to be finished and you can't very well eat chicken curry without rice or bread now, can you?

Sigh

Got back our Chem tutorial today. It sucked. Majorly. Why? I forgot to do a four-mark question. Also, for some reason, I screwed up two objective questions. Then again, I remember not being as thorough as the Kiasus were. I should be. Always been a flaw of mine. *headdesk*

What was worse was the Evil Uncle calling up later. Reminded me to ask my old Bio lecturer about how I could have screwed up the grade. And he keeps saying that he thinks I screwed up otherwise I wouldn't be procrastinating.

Reasons I am procrastinating??

I don't wanna go back to that college anymore
I don't wanna see the face of a lecturer who wasn't supporting me in anyway
I'm tired of pretending I'm ok with things to the family. I'm NOT. I never will be. But life goes on and harping on it is NOT helping me. I could choose to sink into permanent depression or I could just get moving because it's not like I scored all Ds or something. *shudders*
My uncle needs to get a grip on his own life and stop imposing his fucking thoughts on other people.

Yes, I'm feeling a strong hatred for the man who pays for most of the stuff in our family. Bills, our possessions, even 3/4 of the house we live in. Control, power, that's what he bases his life on. Looks, perfection, it matters to him. It only matters to me in the sense of studies. But I can't accept perfection entirely. I need flaws to see the humanity in things.

So it's hate and guilt for feeling that way. I just can't talk to him. I don't want to call him, I don't want to see him, I've actually never felt this way before. Having him around makes me feel so guarded, so unlike myself. I don't feel like talking. Because whatever I say, well, he'd have a counter for it.

And now he wants me to switch Universities if my application for IMU gets in.

And I don't want to.

I want Ireland and he can bloody well sod off for all I care.

To top it off, the Bio tute today was terribly tough all because I didn't read up on peroxisomes, endosomes, cytoskeletons and microtubules *cries* and I valiantly attempted a self-assessment version. Haha, let's see how that turns out *faints*

So in all my pissy, hissy fits, I shall have that afternoon nap I'm in need off before I head off to chelating agents and structure of the bones. Such glory.

*flops onto bed*

Ache

2007-11-13T00:28:00.000+08:00

by James Carrington

Isn't it strange, the way things can change 
Life that you lead turned on its head 
Suddenly someone means more than you felt before
A house and its yard turns into home
I'm sorry but I meant to say
Many things along the way
So this one's for you 

Have I told you I ache, have I told you I ache, 
Have I told you I ache, for you...

Have I told you I ache, and I hope it's not too late, 
Could I hold you and ache, for you... 

Hours that it took, writing words for my book
Seem to have broken 
The gate that I shut last time I got hurt 
Seems to have opened itself 
All the world, it's spinning now, it's tryina catch me up 
Tell me to appreciate here and now 
I'm sorry but I meant to say
So many things along the way 
So this one's for you 

Have I told you I ache, have I told you I ache,
Have I told you I ache, for you... 

Have I told you I ache, and I hope it's not too late,
Could I hold you and ache, for you...

Cuteness

2007-11-12T23:36:00.000+08:00

Just a random thought I'd like to have penned down.

How do you judge cute-ness? Yes, no such word, I know, but I like it and I like making them up. Someone made 'fuck' up and bham, it's a hit word. I have no idea how it relates to coitus but that's the way the cookie crumbles.

Don't mind the random quotes either. I'm becoming terribly random these days. One, I have many thoughts in my head. Two, I have very little time to write them down. Three, whatever time I get, I try and fit them all in.

So. About cuteness.

What makes a person cute?

Nice hairstyle? Boobs? (Ah, my typical fellow males) Washboard abs? (If you males can say boobs, I'll ogle at abs =P)

When someone says a person is cute, they ALWAYS mean the physical. "Oh look, hot babe approaching. She's cute," or "I think so and so is cute". It goes on.

Somehow, cute always strikes me as being adorable. Like in the things a person does or the way he/she behaves. When a friend of mine says a funny phrase or when that special someone goes outta the way to learn something that means a lot to you or when someone messages you everyday because they like talking to you or even the facades and fronts people put to hide that creamy cliched center they may have inside. Or even when they send you nice e-cards when you're sick and down =) *offers the Insane Emperor a cookie*

Also, I find my little cousin brother cute, Arvind.

Ash : *waits for someone to pick phone up*
Arvind : *groggy voice* Hewoo?
Ash : Heyyy...who's this small one speaking eh?
Arvind : This is Arvind
Ash : Do you know who this is?
Arvind : Yes
Ash : Who?
Arvind : Ashvini akka
Ash : Goood boy. Hewwwooo Arvind boy. I miss you!
Arvind : I miss you too akka
Ash : What have u been up to?
Arvind : I've forgotten what your face looks like. I have my exam next week. I'm gonna be first!
Ash : How could you have forgotten! Oooo, I hope you do well.
Arvind : I'm smart. And I forgot cause I haven't seen you in a long time.
Ash : Awww...Arvind sweety, I'll be back in a few days. Don't worry.
Arvind : Kay
Ash : I miss you!
Grandpa : *shouts from the background on the other line* Tell akka "I love you!"
Arvind : I wove you
Ash : *smiles* I wove you too

Hee

There are so many cute conversations I'd love to pen down. Or warm and fuzzy moments that really define cute. Rather than some glam girl or hunky stud. The things people say, do, act. That's what's cute to me.

Oh oh! Another cute and sweet thing that just made me melt.

Twas my aunt and uncle's anniversary in Melbourne. And he did what he did exactly on their first date together. He took her to the temple there - she likes praying - and then surprised her at the entrance with a chain! *melts* And white gold too! She loves it. After sooo long of being together, nothing changed. He even put it on for her there and then they went to their favourite restaurant for dinner, THEN to the movies and the park where they swapped cards *turns to goo* AFTER SO LONG!

I bet my cousin sister was squirming all over upon hearing the details, haha!

So cute to see my aunt showing off her chain through webcam. You could see her all radiant and glowing =)

I have midterms in 10 DAYS! 10! Thank gods the first day doesn't really count much = English? *frowns* The papers are only about an hour each. I have yet to do proper studying for Physics. Will leave my bio and Human Systems 1 studying til the last minute, it being on the last day =P Gotta hit the books again. Slept most of today away. THought I'd blog before I get toooo busy to do anything else.

Damn, I keep forgetting what else I wanna blog about because there's just too much to do. Will mobile blog henceforth for when I do remember. Bleh.

Oh yes. A friend of mine lost 15 kgs just by surviving on fruits and veggies for a month. No carbs. I tried to do it today but had char kuey teow for lunch. Then my housemate made mashed potatoes for dinner so...

Stupid carbs -_-

NO CARBS FOR ASH. NO MORE.

*goes off to munch on a carrot*

Penang Rocks

2007-11-04T04:03:00.000+08:00

No going out.
No evil uncle springing a surprise visit and dragging me all around the countryside.
Just me, laundry, sleep, a phsyio tutorial and some reading.

Oh yes, today is ME-time. =D

Oh dear, too much talking to Screw *points at big grin smiley*

Managed to once more convince an idealistic individual to start a blog. Blogger should pay me, they really should.

The nose has been acting up again, though it's much better than yesterday. Yesterday I had to sleep with my nose tilted up and not in my usual side position - why? Because my frackin' nose kept oozing phlegm. Yes people, grossifying as it is, people DO get sick.

It's so quiet, no noise from the adults. If they wanna hear from me, they can always call me. I'll be leaving Penang on Wednesday afternoon. No idea what the plan is but I have yet to pack.

Gotta print out the pictures I wanted to put in my locket and some lecture notes as well. After Deepavali (HAPPY KEL?) is over, midterms are in two weeks. Seriously, fcking screwed -_-

Oh and pictures to Preet's seafood dinner birthday celebration are right HERE.

There are several people I'm missing a lot.

Stud muffin - Emperor Insanity
Blueberry muffin - Queen Quah
Chocolate Chip muffin - Jakun
Beer muffin - Zeus/Apollo/Wonderboy/Evil
Bailey's muffin - Eager Beaver
Sir Doink
Statsboy
Baiya
Sleepy Arep
Gedik
Ely
Banana muffin - Frickangel

And I shall now retire to my boring Physio slides once more. Woot.

Ciao.

The Daily Rubbish

2007-11-01T08:46:00.000+08:00

Every morning I get two SMS alerts to my phone.

The Indian horoscope for the day - I'm apparently a Scorpion by Indian astrology.
The Western version - The good ole water-bearer, Aquarius

I don't believe in it completely and never judge my day by it coz I usually forget what it says anyway but it's fun to get em. All crystal ball-like.

So anyway, I found todays one funny and worthy of a blog post.

Indian : An extremely favourable day for matters of the heart. You will live your love affairs on a rosy cloud. Excellent state of health.

WRONG! My boyfriend isn't online and I feel like puking -_-

Western : You will dream about possibilities today. Try to talk with interesting people from far away places to fuel your curiousity of the unknown.

I have NO curiousities. I am tired. I have class soon and I have midterms to study for. WHAT possibilities??

Moral of the story?
Ash likes to waste money on stupid things

-_-

Vary proud to beh Indian!

2007-11-01T07:01:00.000+08:00

Yeah, that's pretty much it.
So many things have happened, it's gonna be a rough year to get through, that much is true.
Midterms are up soon, I hope I do well enough in them. I need this. And yet, so much procrastinating on the studying *cries*

My sleeping pattern is erratic once more.

My head's in a whirl.

But enough about the now. Heh. Yesterday was fun. We had role-playing the whole patient-doctor thing. We had a list of symptoms to follow and I had Carl as my patient. It was good, pretended to be this Indian doctor from Maanipal Medical University, with the thick accent and all that. Yeah well, not too hard seeing that you can't really take the indian outta the Indian. So with a thick accent and some over-exaggerated dialogue, we put on a short skit for the class.

Me : Gooood aftarnoon.

*class explodes into laughter*

Carl : Gooood maarning, daaactarr.
Me ; Yes yes, and your good name is?
Carl : My name is Caaarl, Ayam not feeling vary vell, daactarr.
Me : Of course, then you wouldn't be here, no?
Carl : Yes yes, vary true. Vere are you from, daactarr?
Me : Oh ayam from Manipal University. PMC, iss...not a vary good university, ayam afraid. Pmc is not a vary good university ayam afraid. They did not let me graduate.
Carl : Yes yes, you are from India no?
Me : Oh yes yes. No otharr country to be from.
Carl : Yes yes, it is a vary good country.
Me : Vaat ails you, Mr Carl?
Carl : Ayam feeling, very tired daactar.
Me : Then you need some sleep, Mr Carl
Carl : No no. This is a different type of tired.
Me : Oh? Thaaaaat type of tired *grins knowingly*
Carl :No no daactarr! *horrified* I feel very sweaty sweaty, very wet
Me : Oh dearie me. Looot of water is coming out?
Carl : Yes yes. Lotta lotta water
Me : Oh my. I think we need to put you on drips then. But you don't look very dehydrated to me Mr Carl.
Carl : This is all muscle mass daactarr.
Me : Ah yes *makes a note* Do you feel very irritable?
Carl : Yes yes, I have mood swings. Sometimes I feel itchy.
Me : Mood swings? Like a voman??
Carl : Yes yes
Me : Oh dearie me. But you are not a woman, no?
Carl : I don't think so daactarr.
Me : Lordie. Now I have to run some tests to determine your sexuality. And also, a bypass because you're Indian so there's bound to be something wrong with your heart.
Carl : I don't think so daactarr. Ayam very sweaty sweaty, I get exhausted very fast, my heart beats very fast sometimes -
Me : Mr Carl, I have some grave news far you.
Carl : Vat is it doctor, am I going to die?
Me : No no. You are in love.
Carl : Daactarr!!! *gasps*
Me : No no, it's not so serious, you're not going to die and I was jaast joking. You jast have Grave's disease.
Carl : Oh. That's goooood.
Me : There are many types of treatment. But let me consult my medical textbooks, Manipal, I'm afraid, isn't such a good medical university *turns around to check for further questions on the board while the class explodes into peals of laughter*
Carl : It is ok daactarr. Aas long as I don't die.
Me : Vokay. There are 3 types of treatment. Vone is, antithyroid drugs, two is radioiodine therapy, three is surgery. I don't suggest surgery Mr Carl, you could die there.
Carl : I don't vant to die daactarr.
Me : Neither do I. So vee shall give you antithyroid drugs. Because vee don't want you to take radioiodine therapy. Aaall this radioactive rubbish, vee don't vant you turning into the Hulk.
Carl : No, vee don't.
Me : Vokay then. Drugs it is. Now go home, your vife must be waiting for you.
Carl : Vokay daactarr. Thank you daactarr.
Me : No problem no problem Mr Carl.

And that's that. Ms Anne didn't stop us, she told us to go on and she didn't mind the comedy. But yeah, moral of the story is. . .

Anything sounds funny the moment you throw an Indian accent on. *grins*

Vary proud to beh Indian. Sometimes =P

Summing up what I feel

2007-11-01T04:45:00.000+08:00

Yeah, another gedik song. Ugh *headdesk* but it's stuck in my head -thanks to Fly.fm- and won't go away! So here it is.

Hot
by Avril Lavigne

You're so good to me, baby, baby

I wanna lock you up in my closet, where no one's around
I wanna put your hand in my pocket, because you're allowed
I wanna drive you into the corner, and kiss you without a sound
I wanna stay this way forever, I'll say it loud
Now you're in and can't get out

You make me so hot
Make me wanna drop
You're so ridiculous
I can barely stop
I can hardly breathe
You make me wanna scream
You're so fabulous
You're so good to me, baby, baby
You're so good to me, baby, baby

I can make you feel all better, just take it in
And I can show you all the places, you've never been
And I can make you say everything, that you never said
And I will let you do anything, again and again
Now you're in and can't get out

You make me so hot
Make me wanna drop
You're so ridiculous
I can barely stop
I can hardly breathe
You make me wanna scream
You're so fabulous
You're so good to me, baby, baby
You're so good to me, baby, baby

Kiss me gently
Always I know
Hold me, love me
Don't ever go, oh oh oh...
Yeah!

You make me so hot
Make me wanna drop
You're so ridiculous
I can barely stop
I can hardly breathe
You make me wanna scream
You're so fabulous
You're so good to me

You make me so hot
Make me wanna drop
You're so ridiculous
I can barely stop
I can hardly breathe
You make me wanna scream
You're so fabulous
You're so good to me, baby, baby
You're so good to me, baby, baby,
You're so good to me

She's a star

2007-10-31T01:13:00.000+08:00

Yeah, that just happens to be a song I'm hooked onto. It doesn't have good lyrics, just a catchy tune. Weird. It's from Will.i.am's new dance album.

And as you folks can see, there's a NEW layout. I prefer big ones, this one is nice and white, has a beach-like theme to it. Goes with Penang ;) And still, very coconutty. Oh yes *nods*

Today was...the perfect word to describe it would be lethargy. Probably the paracetamol I had to swallow down to keep the fever at bay. It was weird, there was a bit of a runny nose then that went away in the afternoon after some sleep. Oh but then there was work to do. Yes, a horrid Chem tute. Not that it was hard, there was just all this calculating questions, simple ones but still pissed me off seeing that my brain wasn't working much. Spent most of the morning in bed, chatting, reading, listening to some good music and falling asleep. Only reason I stayed up long enough was coz Emperor Insanity was entertaining me *grins*

There are tonnes of pictures I've taken, particularly some nice ones of the place I'm living in. It's lovely here. And there's a cool cafe downstairs that's lovely to go to if you want some peace of mind plus some really good food, heh. It's been raining at odd times these past few days. And the wind howls if the glass doors are kept shut. I usually keep mine open, I like the breeze up on the 10th floor.

Some people have surprised me. You think you know people and then something always happen to suggest otherwise. Maybe I'm just sensitive, but some have been rather touching as well. Well, life will always surprise ya.

And yes, I went a lil wonky one day and got inspired by Auds dearest to start making muffins! =P Yes, my collection of muffins now include:

Blueberry muffin - Heee...you know you like it, Auds ;)
Stud muffin - The Insane Emperor bags this one =P
Chocolate Chip muffin - Jakun was smart enough to know that I love chocolate and should love this flavour as well *grins*
Banana muffin - Jo picked this for, well, obvious reasons.
Beer muffin - Ah yes, authentic, and very Kel.
Baileys muffin - Another alcoholic that defines his taste as creamy yet bitter. This one I giveth to Eager Beaver =P
Raspberry muffin - Bijoy Daddy dearest loves this one. Asked him why and he went "Why not??" No further questions daddio.

Yeah, that's it for now. So people! Tell me ya flavour and I'll add you to this basket of mine.

For I am, the muffin girl =P

Midterms are in three weeks. I have yet to start studying, will start tomorrow. Well, I did read SOME stuff, but not enough. A lil bit on thermoregulation but there are lots of lectures I need to touch up on.

What else eh?

Ah yes, just a quick note and will end with just this,

It's the lil things that matter. Small things. Like a text asking you how you are or a card telling you to get better quick =) or a thought to get something for you because you're not there and you're missing.

These small things. You don't expect them. So when they happen, they really make your day =)

*prances off to Lala land* Night yall.

Make Thy Presence Known

2007-10-30T18:57:00.001+08:00

The Funnies

2007-10-29T00:47:00.000+08:00

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

Heh. Heh.

I quote Emperor Insanity

2007-10-26T11:17:00.000+08:00

" The way to a man's heart isn't through his stomach. It's a little further south,"

How apt -_-

Defatigatio, sudor, inconditus, languor, miseria, sedantarius

2007-10-24T23:52:00.000+08:00

Doesn't matter however you say it, it means the same thing.

Fatigue.

Yes Chao Yi, I know you're loving this. But what's sets me apart from you might be the fact that I'd take this over home ANYDAY. Nyeh! =P

In two weeks, there have been :

3 assignments for ICH
3 tutorials - 2 Medical physics, 1 Chem
1 Bio presentation
1 Physio report

I'm done with all except 4. I shall attempt it tomorrow. Too tired today.
Sleep is what I lack, getting an average of 3-4 hours each day. I wonder why -_- *stares at a certain insane emperor*

=P

I fell asleep while talking to Insane Emperor yesterday. And ha, the dear recorded me snoring. Yes folks, I snore now. I never used to but I do now. *cries*

Also, I've got some...er, highlights in my hair. The hair I worked to hard to keep long is slightly shorter now. And it has...blonde and red highlights in it. I quote people:

Tricia : Not many can pull this look off.
Preet : Whoa!
Aly : It rocks!
Insane Emperor : I love it
QueenQuah : Look like ahbeng only! Hahahaha!
Wonderboy: Very Gryffindorian

*headdesk*

I don't even have time to pen the poem I wrote on scrap paper down. Good news tho, the evil uncle saw a key missing from my laptop and offered to give me his old laptop - which isn't very old, has perfect specs and is perfect coz he doesn't have to BUY me a new one and I don't have to count on getting to RCSI to get a free laptop - when he gets his new one.

Guess he isn't so evil after all. Or maybe, tis just a ploy to bring me over to the Dark Side. I shall be manipulative and accept the 'kind' offer. Diplomacy is a good thing, in the name of my lust for all tech-like things.

And that will be all for now. I shall take my leave.