Who's The Bitch??

...

Honey. I think we need to talk.

Yeah, we damn well do. I know there's someone else.

Oh?

You haven't been blogging in me much, I sense you seeming a tad dettached. What did I ever do to you? You know you could have talked to me about this...baby, we've never kept secrets from each other.

It's not that. I know it's been four years and all. But I think I have to move on. You're holding me back...

Oh, so now I'M the one holding you back?! I've been sitting here for four years, listening to you rant and rant and spill your sad sorry sordid affairs and now you just wanna pack up and leave?!

But baby...this platform works on Java...

So?! What's so great about Java anyway??

Well. To put it simply, I can change the way she looks everyday. Iph, she's a lovely blog. No messy html codes, the templates look so professional, it's so easy to customize everything and make it oh-so personal...it's a lot more intimate that way...Plus...I get my own domain name too.

Are we not intimate enough? *points to banner* I have COCONUT TREES FOR YOUR COCONUT CHRONICLES!

Well maybe I don't wanna be a coconut anymore!!!

*gasps and holds heart*

Yes! I'm Ash and I'm moving onto another decade of my life, entering university, I'm an adult now! I've got no time to mess around with stupid Blogger codes that irritate the living daylights outta me. Yes it's been four years and I've been faithfully committed to you but honestly? Iph lets me breathe...she gives me space.

You monster...

Look. You've got plenty of other people with you. And I'll check up on you often enough. I'll even link to you. You'll be an episode, a website that holds memories of my teenhood and adolescence. Sure, I still act like a kid sometimes but in all technicality, I'm an adult now! I need a change...

*stiffles a sob*

Oh...don't cry...

It's been four years...

I know...but change is good. And who knows, maybe this will do us some good. Some space. I'm sure you're sorta tired from listening to me all the time....

Is she pretty?

She's gorgeous

*bawls*

Ok ok, she's fat!

Really?

Yeah. Chubby.

Hee.

You're way better.

You'll check on me?

Yes, everyday. I promise.

What about posting, are you gonna stop posting in me?

It won't be often baby...but I'll look after you. Don't worry.

You're a jerk, you know that?*stiffles a sob*

Look at it this way, you can take a break. Be my secondary blog for a bit.

So I'm the mistress now and she's the wife?

Maybe.

*lights up* Hmm. That's kinda kinky.

You know it.

Maybe this could work.

Maybe it could.

When do you leave?

After this post.

Can we have sex?

Uh. No. That's just...er, wrong.

Thought I'd ask.

Right.

Alright. Say goodbye to kinky me then! *purrs* Buuuuuuhbyeeeee!

Uh. Ok. Buhbye then.


Yes folks! I'm moving to a different blogging platform, I'm finally turning traitor to Blogger and OH! Here's the URL to the new one.

Ashyville ---> http://ashyville.i.ph

Tada! =D

Yes, no more coconuts, no more coconut chronicles. From now on, it's Ashyville. A more apt name for a place that serves as a medium of expression from all the thoughts in me head aka Ashyville. This blog will always be around, and it's been a good four years but I've found another platform that better suits my needs and I'm moving now, before uni starts.


So to whoever who has linked to me, change your links! I'm there now, I will update THAT one more rather than this one.


Bid adieu to Coconut Chronicles people!


And helloooo Ashyville! =D

Turning 21 again!

Yes, Funkymonkey was certainly right when she said that we'd be attending lotsa parties this year.
And this time around, it was Esther's sister, Sharon who turned 21! Yes, although this was the first time of me meeting Sharon, I went and had good company with me too. Wonderboy, Screw and Philee* came along too.

The words comedy, liquor and laugher would sum the entire night up in a nutshell.

I also got to meet Freethinker in person! =D He has a very nice car btw. A vibrating one. Kinky, no? *waggles eyebrows*

Freethinker, Wonderboy and Screw

The night was pretty much alive thanks to the two jokers that are Screw and Wonderboy (doesn't that sound like Pinky and The Brain? Haha, guess who's Pinky =D) They really should start up a stand-up comedy gig and they'd seriously earn some good money.

Me : You guys really should start a show together.
Screw : No, I can't joke under pressure.
Wonderboy : But I can
Me : Kel, remember how I wanted you to emcee my wedding reception?
Wonderboy : Yeah?
Me : Can you do it with your bitch? *points at Screw*
Wonderboy : No!
Screw : Hell yeah!

The duo having a couple's spat . Put liquor between em and this is what happens. The booze gets more affection instead!

Then we women got up to our camwhoring tricks again.













And oh, proof of Screw's bad photography -- A CARPENTER ALWAYS BLAMES HIS TOOLS!





Then I spotted this cute kid at the party who really reminded me of how I used to look back when I was 3-4 years old. Heh. Philee pointed out the dear to me and I couldn't resist but try to get a shot of her. But the pictures I took ended up getting blur because I tried to toggle with the camera upon the rest insisting the camera had a problem. This resulted in even shittier pictures.
But I persisted and got something remotely decent.

See the kid in the middle?

Yes, that small cutie with the adorable smile, looking with glee at the huge creamy cake.

There, tis the clearest shot I could get of her. Ain't she a darling?

Gods, narcissism runs all through my veins! =D And no, I'm not a paedophile.

Then Philee and I got bored with the oodles of cream on our cakes so we decided to turn the white creams into different colours. I had a pastel green earlier and she got this colour.

To quote Philee...

Pink is not a colour. It's an attitude!

Also, I met an old online friend of mine, Vickrem! Screw took a shot but it was so bad, I deleted it. Another time then. It's been a while since we chatted, we used to talk a lot. Turns out he lives right opposite IMU! =D


So after a few watered down shots, lotsa laughing and watching Screw and Wonderboy try and flirt with anything female (I don't count, I'm an IT -- which works for me wherever THEY'RE concerned) we got into the vibrating car again, missed our stop at Tasik Selatan and got dropped off at the Sri Petaling station instead -- thank you Freethinker! -- and my mum picked us up, we dropped the Godless Heathen (Wonderboy) off then the Pink Princess ** and I headed back.

Exhausted.


But otherwise happy =D

And if you haven't already noticed, there isn't a single shot with the birthday girl...

...


Happy 21st birthday Sharon! =P

Finito

* Philee, you need a blogname
** Can I use Pink Princess? =D

Hugh Laurie presenting at the 2006 Emmy's

*sniggers*



This guy just rocks.

I have no time...

"...for commitment-phobic, damaged and dysfunctional, tall, dark and not necessarily handsome old sweethearts,"

~The Coconut, 3.11am, 15|2|2008, over a very ranty MSN conversation with the Apathetic Jakun

Blechentines

I just like the title =P

Doesn't the over-commercialised tricks and trends put you off it? And you can HARDLY call me bitter because I don't have singlestitis, I'm very much in love with my boyfriend and he's sent me gifts that are on the way -- and late cuz KL post sucks -- and I've sent him stuff too so you can NOT say I'm bitter.

But the cliche of it all...

I mean yeah, sure, I do get mushy and all that but the way things are overpriced and the stores are always coloured PINK really gets on my nerves...


Don't get me wrong, I don't really have anything against pink, I even own some bits of clothing that are and am currently wearing a pink blouse even -- the hypocrisy, I know -- but it's the whole cliche of Valentines that gets to me...

Do you HAVE to be out on a date with that 'special one'? Can't you instead be out with THOSE special ones? And no, I'm not talking polygamy but your friends, family and OTHER people special to you?


And as such, I feel that one should have lotsa Valentines. Maybe it's my own selfish reasoning that has inspired this -- reasons you will never know -- but it has benefit for all.

My folks, bro and sis and I went out. We went to this vegetarian restaurant in PJ called Nature's Garden and treated ourself to soy delights. Such joy...

We decided to sacrifice for mum tho we INSISTED on Chinese food instead of the usual curries -_-

Mock sharkfin's soup -- which in my opinion tastes way better than the real thing cuz the real thing has a funny fishy smell to it which I don't particularly like.

Charsiew fried rice -- mock of course! But I had to avoid this one...*cries*

And that was what I could afford to put on my plate....beancurd, sweet potato leaves and 3 pieces of mock chicken *cries*

Shall I disclose who I got this from? Naaaaaaaahhhh =P

So here's to Blechentines and Single's Awareness Day. *lifts glass*

Why Today Already Sucks

1. My bro is a complete moron. I had to get up at 8AM JUST to send his PE clothes to school all cuz he FORGOT his clothes. And I had to get up, put on something decent so that my nightwear didn't make me look like some slut-mother and head out without brushing my teeth or gargling, half asleep to school. Where he SHOULD have been waiting for me, which he wasn't so the maid had to get down and go all the way up to his class to send it because I wasn't dressed decently enough -- READ: NIGHTWEAR -- did I mention I was half-asleep? And had only 4 hours sleep before?
2. My boyfriend's mother cut the internet off on Valentines. Great. So now, I'm doing ABSOLUTELY nothing for Vday. Ahuh. No way of contacting him either. Yay.
   

Where are my happy pills?

*looks at empty bottle*

I'm going back to bed.

Happy Vday folks.

The Best I Could Ever Have

This goes out to the love of my life. It doesn't rhyme and is pretty much free verse, but it's heartfelt. And with all that's been going on lately, I hope he knows just how much I appreciate and love him for being in my life. . .

I wish I could be the best for him
He deserves all the good there is
He makes the bad turn into bliss
With his ever-loving arms
Outstretched to save me


I wish I could be the best he can have
He listens to all my despair
To all my sordid affairs
He stays strong and silent
And still picks me up when I fall


I try to be the best he can hold
But I'm nowhere near perfect
I snap, hurt and lack tact
He holds onto a wriggling me
And somehow calms me down


When I'm hurting he holds me
When I'm crying he cries with me
He loves me for all I am
He sees in me the things I can't
And I try to be the best I can


I wish I could be the best for him
But I'm nowhere close to him
His love is divine, so pure it's sin
He keeps me safe from all the bad
He's the best I could ever have...



Happy Valentine's Day sweety =)

I Think People Can Be Sooo Stupid

Know of xiaxue.blogspot.com?

There. Nuff said.

I ACTUALLY decided to take a peek at it cuz these are one of the few names you know of in the blogosphere. I actually prefer Kenny Sia anyday. Why?

Because after going through a post of SO many things she had gotten from her trip to US...and THEN reading comments like...

;HUIQI(: said...

you rock!
hahas i love your ear piercings too(:
roslyn's huge star tatoo too (:
but you 2 always makes me laugh till stomach ache!
but i really admire you too<3<3
hahas i'm not mad,just bimbo'ic!
hahas (:

Or

Diyana_shah said...

I think you are pretty and very cute..People who thinks you are commercialised are so stupid.. I like you..So pretty..I adore u so much..

Oh puhlease...like after several nosejobs later and massive photoshopping???


Personally, I don't have anything against her. But imagine becoming FAMOUS because of that and not something like, saving a kid from drowning or something. And Kenny Sia earns money from blogging too...but gosh. The shallowness is ABSENT while the pink frills in hers just further accentuate all the bimboism.


Yes, I'm bitching. But this is MY blog. And I'll bitch all I want. And if Xiaxue, if you ever do read, I really do empathize about the family and all. But try looking at your posts again and get outta that defensive boat you sail in and maybe, just maybe, see that yeah, your haters just could be right.

=D

I wanted to post about something much more important but I just HAD to get this frustration outta my system. Ugh. Anything/anyone shallow + Ash = Nausea

Back in black!

Hell yeah babey! =D

Alright, first thing's first.

I've started a fruit and veg diet -- inspired by none other than Mr Kipsy G and Kennysia. Heh. It's some detox diet thing that you go on for like, 5 days. Tho I cheated. Well, naturally. I had one sausage too -- too carnivorous I am.

The reason behind me finally dieting is quite simple.
I need to lose weight so I can make cruel jokes at all the family members who have belittled me in the past about MY weight =D
Sounds saddistic but oh yeah, they deserve it and this is the BEST and most perfect way to do it to vent all my frustration out. Hah! It give me some form of leverage *grins*


So today's meals consisted of...

1. Milo
2. A pear
3. Tea
4. A banana
5. One sausage
6. Soya bean milk

I'm somewhat proud of myself to have lasted dinner watching my brother wallop mee goreng and sis chow down a hot dog and mum indulge in fried meehoon *cries* Oh and granddad had my favourite Ipoh kueh teow soup...the one from my favourite shop...


*drools*


Oh Ash, get your head back into the bigger picture here.


Vengeance, will be oh-so sweet...owh yeah.

*

Another thing...that is almost godsent -- if Big Blue balls of energy could send miracles that is...

I shut my laptop down cuz it was getting slow, the internet slowed down and restarting it usually helps make it better. So when I restarted it, Windows had to install 8 updates. Now, I've been surviving for weeks now with a laptop that has two missing laptop keys and a Trojan/malware/spyware/adware virus. The virus caused internet explorer windows to keep popping up and it was ridiculously crazy to open the laptop cuz when I'd leave it on and wake up the next day, I'd find like 48 IE windows open *headdesk*


When I restarted however...I got this speech bubble from my taskbar saying...


"Malicious software has been removed from your pc. Click here for details"

And so I clicked =D

"Malware virus removed"

*deep breath*

HALLALUYAH!!!!!!

*throws confetti and jumps around excitedly*

*

Third story:

I weigh a kg less today.

Woot!!!!!!!!!!


And such was today. I somehow feel so utterly accomplished...

OMFG!!!!!!!!

You gotta excuse me. I've found reason to be a traitor to Blogspot for =D

THERE'S A NEW BLOGGING PLATFORM THAT TOTALLY TOTALLY ROCKS!!!

And it's right here at http://i.ph


Talk about simple and sweet. Your domain add will just be --as in MY case > http://ashyville.i.ph


Tada

=D

And I'm thinking of switching there too! But imagine...after 4 years of using blogger...so sedih la. One thing good about this one is that you can customize almost everything and set some posts to private and some public =D


Yes, so I can emo or bitch all I want without some of you actually reading *evil grin*

Such a comforting thought, no?

And you can modify so many things about it too. You can even make the posting template bigger, you get to make photo albums, it comes with a shoutbox, there are ready-made templates that you can modify to glory and make it look extremely different, suited to thy taste, and there are NO complaints so far. So maybe you can't make your own layout.


But why would you want to when everything's guided so well and there's so much variety and personality you can add to it? =D


Yes. I think I shall switch soon. Tho...


I'm gonna miss my Coconut Chronicles =(